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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (11017)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

#20022416
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (1434)

On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

#169078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21320) - you deserved it (42671)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

#19821564
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (4277)

On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (2067)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

#13458555
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (2604)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

#20125135
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (1402)

On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

#19362794
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (2347)

On 03/28/2012 at 9:52am - misc - by andromeda80 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

#8525883
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (2394)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by erin1985 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21312) - you deserved it (2477)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)



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