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Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20028) - you deserved it (3625)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

#13443862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20027) - you deserved it (6409)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:05am - health - by mikey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20022) - you deserved it (1587)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (6085)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (53669)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20022) - you deserved it (81980)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20019) - you deserved it (47728)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

#19515132
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (1706)

On 04/23/2012 at 1:50am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

#19996379
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (8287)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

#20133630
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (3069)

On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20010) - you deserved it (68926)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20006) - you deserved it (42319)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



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