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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

#14630933
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6103) - you deserved it (25097)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:49pm - animals - by fml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I wolf whistled at a girl. I soon realized this wasn't the best idea I've had, as not only did she give me a look of complete and utter disgust, she also sent a very big man running in my direction. FML

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you deserved it (48231)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, at my cousin's baby shower, there was a discussion on what to name the baby. When the name Jacqueline was brought up, I made a face and exclaimed, "Ugh, I hate that name!" I was then informed that's the name of my cousin's mother-in-law. She definitely heard me. FML

#13738756
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6098) - you deserved it (15662)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - France

Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML

#3389905
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6096) - you deserved it (62856)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by Sallyfromtheseashore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

#8792170
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6096) - you deserved it (10955)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6094) - you deserved it (34982)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#15333095
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6094) - you deserved it (38080)

On 03/16/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by dumbluck - United States

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6086) - you deserved it (28451)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6082) - you deserved it (11813)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

#17992894
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6082) - you deserved it (55115)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

#6655081
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6081) - you deserved it (25225)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by Alison (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML



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