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Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

#1083
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:57am - love - by bbns - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML

#20085837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (1199)

On 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (3088)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

#18923298
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19036) - you deserved it (2255)

On 01/27/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by disturbedtosaytheleast (woman) - Canada

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

#6761067
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19036) - you deserved it (5940)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (3770)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

#19738817
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19033) - you deserved it (7912)

On 06/05/2012 at 2:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

#20894041
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19030) - you deserved it (1898)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19027) - you deserved it (4171)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19018) - you deserved it (4540)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19018) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version



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