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Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (1925)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (3026)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

#18295282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/20/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by NoThanksGrandma (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (2086)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (4773)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (3665)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (4999)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

#17228318
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (14125)

On 07/23/2011 at 10:18am - kids - by lauramarie (woman) - Canada

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (4773)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

#15106533
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (5142)

On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (2763)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom



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