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Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (1106)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15122) - you deserved it (43849)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

#492
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15120) - you deserved it (6114)

On 12/11/2008 at 5:40am - misc - by Pfff - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

#5306041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15118) - you deserved it (11942)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by turnoff (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15118) - you deserved it (26057)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

#5886386
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (11338)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:38pm - work - by moduschic (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

#15098921
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (14844)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Eric Forrest - United States (Utah)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (28070)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally picked up my new bank card after my old one was stolen. It took the bank six weeks and five separate orders to figure it out, on top of which they've charged me a rush fee. FML

#20046256
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15112) - you deserved it (1190)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:50pm - money - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15112) - you deserved it (1460)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15110) - you deserved it (44843)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15110) - you deserved it (7286)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15105) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)



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