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Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (3007)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20977) - you deserved it (4436)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

#6018223
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20975) - you deserved it (7813)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:45am - kids - by Chub (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (3369)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20975) - you deserved it (2034)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (6707)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
123 comments

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

#6437512
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20973) - you deserved it (5009)

On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20969) - you deserved it (9832)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

#19484961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20969) - you deserved it (1597)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (4380)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (2964)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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