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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22483) - you deserved it (6016)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (5665)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22475) - you deserved it (3998)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (6807)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

#15461657
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (2510)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (4874)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

#7072214
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by nobffs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (6362)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (42013)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (3062)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States



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