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Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (2453)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

#19761942
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19830) - you deserved it (1841)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Lily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19829) - you deserved it (9663)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

#2282395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19828) - you deserved it (44937)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by drurbanXVII (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (36073)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (1994)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (2162)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (5908)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19813) - you deserved it (11217)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19812) - you deserved it (3290)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

#13325308
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/05/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by danrocketman - United States (Texas)

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (1730)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)



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