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Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20277) - you deserved it (32145)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (2801)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20273) - you deserved it (3319)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20271) - you deserved it (8131)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (38665)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (7394)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20265) - you deserved it (49773)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

#8230215
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (2885)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:03am - love - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (60869)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (1480)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I was directing a video shoot of a big Christmas show with 750 people attending. After the first half of the show recorded; during intermission, I accidentally deleted the show as people were signing up to buy the DVD. FML

#14102219
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20262) - you deserved it (14560)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - work - by kermudgen - United States



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