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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (12158)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (1815)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (4478)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

#8525883
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (2568)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by erin1985 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (7408)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML

#13810188
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (2881)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

#19994293
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (2151)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (5272)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked "Are those your grand-children?" I'm in my 40's. FML

#6755152
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (2434)

On 12/14/2009 at 8:30pm - work - by Shalamar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (3590)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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