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Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you deserved it (48244)
On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML
I agree, your life sucks (6097) - you deserved it (62861)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by Sallyfromtheseashore (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at my cousin's baby shower, there was a discussion on what to name the baby. When the name Jacqueline was brought up, I made a face and exclaimed, "Ugh, I hate that name!" I was then informed that's the name of my cousin's mother-in-law. She definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6097) - you deserved it (15665)
Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6097) - you deserved it (10960)
On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6094) - you deserved it (34982)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6094) - you deserved it (38082)
On 03/16/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by dumbluck - United States
Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6087) - you deserved it (28453)
On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6084) - you deserved it (55124)
On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6083) - you deserved it (11813)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6083) - you deserved it (25229)
On 12/07/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by Alison (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6079) - you deserved it (43894)
On 10/01/2011 at 2:48am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (18687)
On 01/16/2010 at 2:26am - misc - by ObeseCaveDweller (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6072) - you deserved it (36534)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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