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Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26760) - you deserved it (3965)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

#7865579
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (2792)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:02am - work - by FMJoblessL (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (22159)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

#6337825
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (4038)

On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (54522)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (6250)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (6323)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (3638)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend who I've had serious feelings for for over a year decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost 2 years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up 6 months ago. 3 times. FML

#4993116
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (3917)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by sexytime (woman) - United States (Utah)

 Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

#14092171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (4014)

On 12/05/2010 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

#21480543
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (2098)

On 10/15/2015 at 8:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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