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Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed: standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my brand new car. FML

#8866144
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21954) - you deserved it (6763)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:22am - misc - by Coldflame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21955) - you deserved it (3466)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21951) - you deserved it (43452)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (2427)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was on a date with a guy I met online. After 30 minutes, he abruptly stands up and says he has to leave. He practically ran out of Starbucks to get away from me. FML

#8795495
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (6285)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:21am - love - by Carrie - United States

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

#13010749
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (5460)

On 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (1599)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

#5839165
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (2303)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:16am - animals - by birdhater (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (2631)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (5677)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

#19370577
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (3607)

On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (4188)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

#2298
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (3185)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:33am - love - by josh - United States (Indiana)



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