Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15300) - you deserved it (4009)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15292) - you deserved it (8902)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

#6164199
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15289) - you deserved it (2612)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:25am - intimacy - by Cate (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15286) - you deserved it (44862)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15286) - you deserved it (23963)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15286) - you deserved it (1773)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (7416)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15282) - you deserved it (43118)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15279) - you deserved it (56507)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15279) - you deserved it (6584)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15277) - you deserved it (45126)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15277) - you deserved it (2049)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15275) - you deserved it (5568)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: