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Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

by lillymean / 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, a while after finishing and uploading a task, I looked at my peers' work to make sure I hadn't missed anything in mine. One of them had gotten the same idea and had decided to incorporate part of my work into his. "Part" as in "all". "All" as in all of his work is also all of mine. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2015 at 11:19pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

by failure / 07/14/2011 at 12:24pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

by wastedlove / 06/23/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

by smiler / 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

by its still broken / 06/10/2015 at 8:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

by BERNDTOAST / 03/27/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

by Lonely School Kid / 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

by Jebus / 01/23/2009 at 8:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

by Me / 11/26/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML

by worksucker / 07/05/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 5:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous