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Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6053) - you deserved it (23697)
On 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nakedyogagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6050) - you deserved it (14868)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6045) - you deserved it (16784)
On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved
Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6044) - you deserved it (83807)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6043) - you deserved it (50720)
On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6043) - you deserved it (19956)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6041) - you deserved it (17389)
On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6039) - you deserved it (26059)
On 10/16/2012 at 12:16am - work - by leafscupwin - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6038) - you deserved it (22729)
On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6036) - you deserved it (25189)
On 08/11/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by nina - Luxembourg (Luxembourg)
Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6036) - you deserved it (13505)
On 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6033) - you deserved it (15081)
On 01/09/2010 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pervert (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, the supervisory staff at work was changed in my area. The good news? My boyfriend is now my manager. The bad news? My ex, the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, is our supervisor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6029) - you deserved it (48185)
On 05/23/2010 at 10:23am - work - by nick_of_time (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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