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Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

#18649240
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26781) - you deserved it (4499)

On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (41150)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

#19740850
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (4095)

On 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by whyme27 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

#19780908
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (4808)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

#18078802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (4360)

On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (2198)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (41683)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

#14113537
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (5200)

On 12/06/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (4984)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

#19715623
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (1911)

On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (3641)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

#13800215
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (2996)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:27am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

#13586987
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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