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Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

#6887241
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23556) - you deserved it (7781)

On 12/22/2009 at 4:54pm - money - by DumbLackofLuck (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, everyone in my house has a horrible stomach flu. My two toddler nephews don't understand that they need to throw up in the bathroom, so they just blow chunks everywhere. I have to clean it up, while trying not to do the same. FML

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (3857)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

#20077825
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (2441)

On 09/18/2012 at 2:24pm - love - by tiffany - Canada

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (10364)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

#6236488
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (2848)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (36185)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (7581)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (2279)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (2765)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (1621)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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