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Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

#6467365
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (6425)

On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by anniecook (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

#17739609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

#17759197
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (1843)

On 09/16/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Authentik8 (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

#19997167
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20815) - you deserved it (2803)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20815) - you deserved it (2229)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (2791)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (4185)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (1767)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (2800)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (2031)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

#20022923
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (3690)

On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

#17509957
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (6412)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by princessbbee - United States

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (1853)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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