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Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

#1104
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19795) - you deserved it (1747)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:26am - love - by beekie9 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

#6596856
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19795) - you deserved it (5991)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (1927)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

#7351489
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (7591)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

#13138405
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (8619)

On 09/21/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by yourmom - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (13133)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML

#20043150
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (12032)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by unfucked (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

#7007388
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (3832)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:12am - intimacy - by marriagesux - United States

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

#8774355
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (4577)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm - love - by lonelyashell (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (67823)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

#19914260
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19777) - you deserved it (6491)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:44am - misc - by seagull hater - United States (California)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (3898)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)



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