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Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML

#14809738
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

#19793138
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (2030)

On 06/15/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by shalara (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

#14282148
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (37853)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

#2736188
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (44879)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:39am - health - by fatty (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#17756574
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (9965)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (6818)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

#14578996
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (2435)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by hoops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (5171)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2825)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#19691716
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2007)

On 05/28/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (1727)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sends a text to one of his "friends" saying "I'm thinking of you". FML

#1878
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (1803)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:20am - love - by Wolf - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)



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