Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6347) - you deserved it (34284)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6346) - you deserved it (58830)
On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6344) - you deserved it (45017)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (14627)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6340) - you deserved it (54583)
On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6339) - you deserved it (14956)
On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (21947)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6336) - you deserved it (27978)
On 02/20/2010 at 1:09am - health - by fatflabbyfail - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6334) - you deserved it (13056)
On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6330) - you deserved it (15764)
On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6329) - you deserved it (21272)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6326) - you deserved it (48054)
On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6323) - you deserved it (19760)
On 10/09/2010 at 8:51pm - work - by fistpumpin4life - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
