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Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (4865)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

#19714099
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (6324)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:41am - health - by sicksicksick (woman) - Senegal

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (3189)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

#16075274
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (12236)

On 05/07/2011 at 3:08am - misc - by sillyfox4lyfe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after being upset at the fact that my phone was stolen at work, I received a note on my locker saying, "100 bucks and you get the phone back." My phone is being held for ransom. FML

#19972193
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (1636)

On 07/22/2012 at 1:04am - work - by missingphoneproblems (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

#14165047
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (5496)

On 12/11/2010 at 11:16am - kids - by blueberry_hill (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

#19522593
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (1786)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:15pm - work - by Mug - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (8441)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (4778)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

#14878575
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23654) - you deserved it (5802)

On 02/07/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by oxbonxo (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

#20125611
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23654) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/20/2012 at 6:48pm - money - by fuck gangnam style in the anus - United States (California)



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