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Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (5128)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (43446)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

#14600562
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20941) - you deserved it (3286)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:17pm - money - by jetlagged (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

#20055365
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (1514)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:37am - misc - by Tyler - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (4679)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (5666)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss sent me home from work because she saw me not checking under my customer's cart to see if they had any hidden groceries. I didn't check because the customer threatened to "kick my ass" if I "accused him of stealing" by checking. FML

#14408064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (7638)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:51am - work - by bad_luck (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (237676)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (11964)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (2782)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (9532)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (7654)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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