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Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

#16706324
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (10910)

On 06/17/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by jaybob18 - United States (New York)

Today, I almost missed the bus. I grabbed my backpack and ran out the door. It wasn't until after we got to school that I realized I was still in my slippers. FML

#16493871
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (9013)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:00am - misc - by Connie - United States (New York)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

#14423827
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (3969)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:37am - health - by cauteriseme (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

#21434226
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (1759)

On 06/30/2015 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26815) - you deserved it (9712)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (3311)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

#19860530
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (5354)

On 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

#21424841
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (8013)

On 06/12/2015 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Pattie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

#19363269
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (11465)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (19827)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

#18236963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (2414)

On 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by mandie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (5331)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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