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Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

#12756
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (5463)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

#13615368
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (2691)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by thjeltz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

#17632771
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (3879)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by Beepbeepbeep (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (2289)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (3671)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

#18065493
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (4412)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (6471)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML

#19671635
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (1980)

On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

#20087854
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (4315)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML

#14511615
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24444) - you deserved it (2490)

On 01/08/2011 at 7:22pm - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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