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Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21899) - you deserved it (53915)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21895) - you deserved it (1892)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

#17509957
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21894) - you deserved it (6574)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by princessbbee - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21894) - you deserved it (7966)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21890) - you deserved it (10072)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21889) - you deserved it (5679)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (1950)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (2687)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

#19072252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (4976)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (8308)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (3839)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21881) - you deserved it (2058)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (3916)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

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