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Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6132) - you deserved it (27251)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm - work - by Spudzy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6130) - you deserved it (36541)
On 01/23/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by sadgirl - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6131) - you deserved it (17122)
On 12/07/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by skating101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6126) - you deserved it (72264)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)
Today, for my Teen Living class, all the students got a fake baby. In order to stop the baby from crying, you have to use the bracelet they provide. I lost the bracelet. I have the baby all weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6126) - you deserved it (29908)
On 10/23/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6127) - you deserved it (39871)
On 01/08/2011 at 5:05pm - money - by qx5 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6126) - you deserved it (25836)
On 01/15/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by CA19oo - United States
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6124) - you deserved it (19359)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6121) - you deserved it (58929)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6119) - you deserved it (22137)
On 10/22/2010 at 10:15pm - work - by qhu - United States (Florida)
Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6119) - you deserved it (46998)
On 06/29/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anza (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6118) - you deserved it (6550)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (17261)
On 01/03/2010 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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