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Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (1761)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, I admitted to my parents that I have an eating disorder. Instead of trying to help, my mom stared at me and said, "Duh". FML

#19695634
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (3857)

On 05/28/2012 at 9:38pm - misc - by Hungrey - United States

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (41765)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

#19233138
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (2099)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:24pm - work - by Me - United States

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (2534)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (4240)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (35827)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (3730)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (3743)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

#12431823
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (2759)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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