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Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (38243)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23719) - you deserved it (46885)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

#8067706
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by spanishgirl101 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23719) - you deserved it (2720)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (8156)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

#19454762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by crazydaughter - Egypt

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (2262)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (3232)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, as part of the treatment for my bulimia, my doctor informed me that I will not be allowed to go to the bathroom unsupervised. Meaning there will have to be another person in the bathroom with me at all times. I have a nervous bladder. I couldn't go if I wanted to. FML

#17977413
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23709) - you deserved it (12985)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (42638)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (2087)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (7282)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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