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Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

#19779823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16012) - you deserved it (2389)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:14am - animals - by missmisfit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16009) - you deserved it (3459)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML

#19352792
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16007) - you deserved it (4333)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm - money - by Sharkie49 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16006) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

#13286743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16003) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by lmaoLOSER - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (6861)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15998) - you deserved it (3168)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (29444)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15993) - you deserved it (2946)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15990) - you deserved it (9485)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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