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Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (59159)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (3127)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

#20158967
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (5591)

On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (1905)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (3490)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

#18379214
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (2487)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by DoggyBlues - United States (California)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (4089)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (1580)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (2526)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (5635)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (3172)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France



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