Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (9818)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

#21385304
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (3479)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:37am - work - by Sam - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (13478)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (1765)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

#17869528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (2370)

On 09/30/2011 at 7:10am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

#19833959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (1761)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm - misc - by herpmonster (woman) - Italy

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

#20131269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (3336)

On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25695) - you deserved it (2516)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

#20974953
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25695) - you deserved it (38389)

On 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by holy sleet (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry..." FML

#41470
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (3676)

On 02/14/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (1738)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (2218)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

#7039639
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (4019)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:42pm - kids - by doody (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: