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Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (4115)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16078) - you deserved it (54274)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16070) - you deserved it (56743)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

#1219
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (1829)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Tom - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (71520)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16062) - you deserved it (69785)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (4697)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

#8622338
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16059) - you deserved it (5048)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (4816)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (21490)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

#8106835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16053) - you deserved it (4241)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16050) - you deserved it (1017)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

#1250715
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (83507)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:42am - intimacy - by waitforit (man) - United States (California)



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