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Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

#13325308
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (4114)

On 10/05/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by danrocketman - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19759) - you deserved it (1985)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19759) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (48925)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (2156)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (3457)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (7936)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (4909)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (1538)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (5901)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19748) - you deserved it (1934)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (8392)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

#13035925
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (5518)

On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom



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