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Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML

#21436232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2507)

On 07/04/2015 at 5:30am - misc - by bbcgj - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (2529)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (3516)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (4838)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (6338)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (3941)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (2944)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24889) - you deserved it (9199)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (1672)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (10040)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (2426)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

#13446090
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (4486)

On 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm - misc - by Casey - United States (California)



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