Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I just realised that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

#758
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (17022)

On 12/29/2008 at 11:34pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

#17476443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6913) - you deserved it (26326)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

#9157788
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (29261)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by shouldabeenapornstar (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

#14397840
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6912) - you deserved it (31926)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - health - by infected - Denmark

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

#3471774
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (30474)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (51102)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML

#795455
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (57685)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by OrangeTree12 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

#19750799
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (23507)

On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (22459)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

#18642510
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (31497)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:03am - misc - by nolife - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6903) - you deserved it (26006)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6903) - you deserved it (31084)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

#4428551
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6900) - you deserved it (52524)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by hitandrun (woman) - United States (Washington)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by