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Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

#18387979
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (5125)

On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (8051)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML

#19232064
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (4801)

On 03/07/2012 at 6:14am - work - by Jake (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

#19661266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (4164)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:02am - misc - by Rick - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

#21402394
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (5941)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (8932)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

#14187285
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (3913)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29am - money - by Reasondon - United States (Michigan)

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (4481)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

#19432240
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (6296)

On 04/08/2012 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

#19999670
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (5408)

On 08/03/2012 at 1:24am - love - by DeeGirlMon (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (5861)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (3691)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (3362)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)



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