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Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (17233)
On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6749) - you deserved it (51637)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:01am - misc - by bready (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6748) - you deserved it (21850)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6747) - you deserved it (21131)
On 12/18/2010 at 6:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6746) - you deserved it (20561)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6746) - you deserved it (10211)
On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6738) - you deserved it (24363)
On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6737) - you deserved it (63744)
On 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Bee (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the post office and as I entered the building my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6736) - you deserved it (24094)
On 10/24/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by kiran - United States (California)
Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6732) - you deserved it (14712)
On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6731) - you deserved it (12434)
On 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by queen (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6728) - you deserved it (47123)
On 07/12/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by divineinstrument (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6729) - you deserved it (18186)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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