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Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21371) - you deserved it (6872)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (7885)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

#19225170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (1775)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:37am - work - by dragynfyre - United States (California)

Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML

#6788841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (8734)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (3683)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML

#19357176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (2467)

On 03/27/2012 at 12:32pm - misc - by AmihayG - Israel

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

#3169112
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (42595)

On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (18355)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (7333)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (20995)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (3291)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (14216)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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