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Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

#18880094
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (3333)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (16097)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

#8889347
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (3951)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jess (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24832) - you deserved it (2185)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24832) - you deserved it (4819)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (2942)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24831) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

#14481844
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (13113)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (8830)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (10466)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (2513)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (4669)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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