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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

#1047
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (1488)

On 01/13/2009 at 3:54pm - love - by ren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

#9158778
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23294) - you deserved it (5112)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

#11063786
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (5433)

On 06/08/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by CircleBruise (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

#19615076
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23294) - you deserved it (3881)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (2119)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (7361)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

#13339977
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you deserved it (4258)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:40am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam

Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML

#17557632
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (5860)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:38pm - misc - by jarrettsorko - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (19937)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

#18030465
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (4458)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:32am - love - by Miroslav208 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

#13874228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/17/2010 at 5:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (2778)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States



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