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Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (4241)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (3743)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (6507)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (3193)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

#12431823
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21429) - you deserved it (2760)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21426) - you deserved it (2601)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (50252)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (1472)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML



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