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Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19961) - you deserved it (52764)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

#14658827
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19960) - you deserved it (12251)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (2335)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

#493
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19958) - you deserved it (6368)

On 12/11/2008 at 7:21am - kids - by fataldisease - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

#6903052
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19958) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:56pm - misc - by fml_forever32 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (1584)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (50014)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19958) - you deserved it (5822)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19950) - you deserved it (41625)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (3146)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

#14534217
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19949) - you deserved it (10087)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (25105)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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