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Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6881) - you deserved it (50635)
On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6879) - you deserved it (49748)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6879) - you deserved it (32990)
On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6879) - you deserved it (22782)
On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6877) - you deserved it (32681)
On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6872) - you deserved it (13284)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:56am - misc - by for_fs_sake (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6868) - you deserved it (25342)
On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6866) - you deserved it (14561)
On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6866) - you deserved it (14949)
On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I pretended to go for a run to impress someone on AIM. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6865) - you deserved it (29916)
On 08/01/2010 at 9:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (16834)
On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6853) - you deserved it (28410)
On 11/02/2012 at 11:39am - health - by Midnightpearls - United States
Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (38379)
On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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