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Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17979) - you deserved it (28954)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

#18077732
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17978) - you deserved it (4306)

On 10/26/2011 at 12:31am - work - by rowanjusmc - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17977) - you deserved it (8053)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17976) - you deserved it (2937)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17976) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (8633)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML

#4994251
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (7556)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Mdrk783 (man) - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (249327)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

#19898504
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (5868)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States

Today, I had to spend the morning and afternoon waiting for my uncle to take a crap after his hernia surgery. It never happened, and in the end I drove home, only to find the highway just as backed up as my uncle's colon. FML

#17697581
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17972) - you deserved it (2537)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:47pm - health - by wilmerjean - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (2645)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I switched cell phone service providers, hoping to upgrade. After working out the details and picking a phone in the store, I got home to find my brand new cell can't get a signal in my house. I already signed the two year contract. FML

#19596569
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by klynn267 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (3417)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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