Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML

#19352792
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16006) - you deserved it (4333)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm - money - by Sharkie49 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16007) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (45746)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

#13286743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by lmaoLOSER - United States (New York)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15999) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15999) - you deserved it (6861)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15998) - you deserved it (3168)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15994) - you deserved it (29444)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15992) - you deserved it (2946)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

#790752
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15989) - you deserved it (29483)

On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (9485)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: