Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

#18649240
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (4243)

On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (3631)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (9843)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (4700)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (2145)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (1560)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML

#6868813
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (6353)

On 12/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by herzausstein (man) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (2864)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (2691)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

#18493927
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:08pm - work - by isuckasawaitress (woman) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: