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Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

by Rejection / 05/04/2010 at 3:33am / Intimacy

Today, my boss texted me to say the office was closed because of the snow. I begged him to let me go in anyway because I had nothing to do all day. I have no life, friends or hobbies. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

by aylla / 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML

by kb / 01/10/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my parents talking about my husband. Apparently, they think he's a nice guy and all, but they don't really see him as "husband material." They think I would have been better off with my ex, who doesn't have a job and hurt me both physically and mentally. FML

by thanksforallyoursupportmomanddad / 11/10/2015 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 9:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I noticed that whenever I don't give the homeless guy around the corner some money, my side mirrors get stolen. FML

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

by getting real crafty.. / 07/05/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

by birgz / 10/25/2011 at 8:42am / Love

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

by notsobig / 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

by jojolee68 / 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous