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Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (2424)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (4312)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (5113)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (1701)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (2442)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (2883)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

#20083866
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (2731)

On 09/22/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML

#13187772
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (3206)

On 09/24/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

#7837909
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (2129)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

#8528184
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20064) - you deserved it (36150)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (1915)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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