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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

#9077392
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (2066)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

#2298
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21899) - you deserved it (3176)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:33am - love - by josh - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

#17776041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (5060)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by Lisa - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (1474)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (10295)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (4254)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21895) - you deserved it (1949)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

#19024888
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (1691)

On 02/08/2012 at 6:27am - misc - by 3.14 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

#8729495
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (2008)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21889) - you deserved it (4100)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (53893)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)



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