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Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (2923)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23699) - you deserved it (7281)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23698) - you deserved it (2233)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23697) - you deserved it (2434)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

#1485
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (2497)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm - love - by C2 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (2087)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

#14286772
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (10325)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I go to a small private Christian college, the academic dean came up to me and asked me to put some old records on CD, since I have a record player that can do that. I had to listen to eight records of old students from the 1970's singing bible thumper Christian hippie music. FML

#15026784
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (9076)

On 02/18/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by Shodan2112 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

#19074036
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (3749)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by rejected4ever - United States

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (2096)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (2463)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23690) - you deserved it (4507)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

#18306908
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23690) - you deserved it (2146)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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