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Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

#13402192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (8645)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:00am - health - by cdubb27 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

#19948729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (2677)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

#21521515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (1579)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm - work - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (14500)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

#21398912
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (12857)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Sexless from Texas - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML

#18644293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (2891)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by tickle spunk - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (1762)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

#13676187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (5770)

On 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by evilparents (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (6527)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

#10334392
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (15165)

On 05/04/2010 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Rejection (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (3529)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States



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