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Today, I discovered that most of my family is homophobic while discussing Orange Is The New Black. I've only come out to my sister. FML

#21430373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (2662)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by imgay - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (5224)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

#19742769
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (2876)

On 06/06/2012 at 4:06am - love - by facepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (92752)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

#17710683
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (15587)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (5975)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

#19180837
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (6588)

On 02/28/2012 at 6:55am - love - by Susan - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

#17089310
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (40210)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:40am - love - by whyme - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (4466)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

#19511561
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2951)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by Gitana (woman) - Spain (Navarra)

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

#14316473
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (9217)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by troubleintoyland (woman) - United States (Texas)



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