Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

#9015781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22417) - you deserved it (2647)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by gorgeousgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (3352)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (2008)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

#7478181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (4364)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by diorlove - Sent from mobile version

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (2505)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

#19172113
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (4099)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:12am - love - by SwimminginSweat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (2293)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (3172)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (2054)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I admitted to my parents that I have an eating disorder. Instead of trying to help, my mom stared at me and said, "Duh". FML

#19695634
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (3959)

On 05/28/2012 at 9:38pm - misc - by Hungrey - United States

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

#17874555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22407) - you deserved it (4441)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: