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Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (40752)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (2672)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

#20118386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20451) - you deserved it (1358)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:09pm - misc - by notattractiveatall (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20448) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20448) - you deserved it (5692)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML

#8195721
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20447) - you deserved it (3220)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:49am - love - by girlie5445 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

#19895787
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you deserved it (9198)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm - work - by lazy pregnant girl - United States

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

#20074336
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

#5113950
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (42328)

On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

#19397276
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (1623)

On 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (1405)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (1786)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)



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