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Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (23888)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (25002)
On 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (18031)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by potatoes - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (34503)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I was making hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6819) - you deserved it (19565)
On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6818) - you deserved it (11064)
On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6818) - you deserved it (19259)
On 01/10/2010 at 12:35am - health - by bummed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6814) - you deserved it (45220)
On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (34987)
On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6810) - you deserved it (25432)
On 12/31/2010 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6808) - you deserved it (16305)
On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6807) - you deserved it (21583)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6805) - you deserved it (28391)
On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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