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Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (63680)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my entire region received record rainfall, with torrential downpours all day and night. Today was also the day I discovered my car's sunroof leaks, when I was greeted with two inches of standing water in my floorboards. FML

#13151203
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (2163)

On 09/22/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by waterlogged - United States

Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML

#19612373
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (2374)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (4486)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

#6710646
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (7457)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML

#14129124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (16148)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:47am - intimacy - by khaelian -

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19678) - you deserved it (49671)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

#20108635
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (1668)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19675) - you deserved it (7296)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML

#19238495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19674) - you deserved it (12049)

On 03/08/2012 at 9:30am - love - by hairy (woman) - Serbia

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

#7336646
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (4527)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

#14365818
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (4739)

On 12/28/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (37516)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States



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