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Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (5424)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (3063)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (2964)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

#19497689
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (3569)

On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

#7937291
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (3744)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from mobile version

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (2122)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

#20122351
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21797) - you deserved it (1592)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:41am - animals - by Annonymous (woman) - United States

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

#18242720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21796) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm - health - by mintypoison (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (2312)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (6784)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21790) - you deserved it (4839)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML



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