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Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (4652)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

#18712372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (2581)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (6093)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (79564)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (4230)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (2306)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

#20045096
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (1461)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (2468)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

#19025150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (3707)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (5931)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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