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Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15982) - you deserved it (2736)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

#20120587
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15981) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML

#3944960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15979) - you deserved it (39946)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Alice (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15979) - you deserved it (5754)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15976) - you deserved it (1350)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

#15144995
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15968) - you deserved it (35745)

On 02/27/2011 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15963) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15964) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15963) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15961) - you deserved it (55055)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

#20039608
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (3080)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15957) - you deserved it (44604)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it was my husband's and my anniversary. He was at work, so I decided to dress up "sexy". You know, the typical lacey thong and fishnets. I heard the door open, and what I thought was him was actually my brother who'd visited to wish me a happy anniversary. FML

#6199211
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15955) - you deserved it (4654)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by sexysue (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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