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Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

#21425930
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24654) - you deserved it (2164)

On 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm - misc - by lulumars (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (10745)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (6839)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (5600)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (3931)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

#19999290
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2004)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by HappyMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

#18788903
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (5581)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by xXMudkipNoobXx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found that my cats somehow managed to pull the plug of my fridge out of the socket. Several days ago. Now I have to get rid of a ton of stinking food and clean the stinking fridge. FML

#10863158
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (6835)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:53pm - animals - by Alexander (man) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

#20488845
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you deserved it (1930)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24646) - you deserved it (1969)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (1817)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

#8493651
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (7930)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by gullible (woman) - United States (New York)



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