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Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (2609)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23373) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (4193)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

#20010874
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (2106)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:44am - intimacy - by rxcrs3 - United States

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (3025)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

#756
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (5406)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:01pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

#17540688
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (4070)

On 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by The captain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (7556)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML

#13141247
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (13375)

On 09/21/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23363) - you deserved it (3937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

#19363269
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23362) - you deserved it (10365)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML

#19956354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23363) - you deserved it (2758)

On 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm - work - by FOXYgrandpa441 - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23363) - you deserved it (2749)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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