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Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21525) - you deserved it (37391)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

#17878536
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21525) - you deserved it (7352)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

#19603666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (1916)

On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

#6814532
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you deserved it (8832)

On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML

#12313320
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (8852)

On 08/04/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (9580)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML

#6665915
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (2756)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by umm - United States (Texas)

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (1767)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was building new fixtures at work. As I assembled the top holding bar on the second section, my boss came up and smacked it to try and scare me. She knocked the top holding bar, which is made of steel, onto my head, and then all the sections went on to fall like dominoes. FML

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (2993)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

#8279191
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (13332)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by tayluh26 - United States (California)

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

#19466370
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (2743)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States



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