Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (23031)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

#14692086
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you deserved it (8087)

On 01/23/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by Sostupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (7071)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (5194)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

#8131977
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (1908)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by yourstruly - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

#20078726
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (3005)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (63968)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

#9001773
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (1819)

On 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

#7215192
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: