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Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

#14574476
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16089) - you deserved it (4553)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16089) - you deserved it (4105)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

#19478147
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16086) - you deserved it (1609)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:52am - health - by fhe - Puerto Rico

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

#19994550
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (1828)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16081) - you deserved it (4115)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16077) - you deserved it (54274)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16070) - you deserved it (56745)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

#1219
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (1829)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Tom - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (71520)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (69788)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16060) - you deserved it (4697)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

#8622338
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (5048)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (21491)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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