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Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (43115)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (7862)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (2717)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (3744)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (2155)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

#18526714
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20105) - you deserved it (35704)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

#6809461
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (4045)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:19am - work - by B (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML

#1904436
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (47755)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (2638)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

#19978741
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (2318)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (5157)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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