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Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (9135)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (3320)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

#19876638
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (4071)

On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (20246)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

#19921973
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (8663)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (3741)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (6316)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (91740)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21092) - you deserved it (4914)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

#17958269
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (2131)

On 10/11/2011 at 5:43am - work - by Anony-moose (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (9076)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

#20117850
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (3521)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:10am - kids - by Reihna (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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