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Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (1890)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

#6965324
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (10446)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (3297)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (15027)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (1393)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (2304)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (2008)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (3352)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

#9015781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (2648)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by gorgeousgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

#7478181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (4364)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by diorlove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (2505)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

#19172113
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (4098)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:12am - love - by SwimminginSweat (woman) - United States (California)



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