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Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

#17783230
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (2728)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24023) - you deserved it (3516)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

#14767473
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (7880)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (13512)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (2284)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother came over again to help me work on my Student Aid application. She also brought over the savings bonds that she has been accumulating since I was born to help pay for college. Turns out they won't reach maturity until I'm thirty. She never bothered to check out this fact. I'm screwed for college. FML

#14476476
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24017) - you deserved it (3089)

On 01/05/2011 at 5:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on a date with a guy I met online. After 30 minutes, he abruptly stands up and says he has to leave. He practically ran out of Starbucks to get away from me. FML

#8795495
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (6554)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:21am - love - by Carrie - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

#5385782
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24011) - you deserved it (41103)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

#7847949
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24011) - you deserved it (2368)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (3223)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

#13900225
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (1959)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States



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