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Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17899) - you deserved it (5796)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17901) - you deserved it (4027)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

#19129542
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (1825)

On 02/21/2012 at 4:53am - work - by kat (woman) - Reserved

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

#18741801
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (9190)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by scardeycat13 - United States (New York)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (141510)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17894) - you deserved it (1334)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (1036)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (1570)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (2089)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (1902)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

#8156006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (3577)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:20am - health - by a - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (27195)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

#12470997
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (32537)

On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States



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