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Today, I found out I have to give my father-in-law back the football tickets he gave me for my birthday. Why? His girlfriend decided she wanted to go. He didn't get me a different gift. FML

#18434015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (2086)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Sal (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

#17405382
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (5773)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (3296)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (1719)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (4484)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (2448)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

#909263
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24050) - you deserved it (59373)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (8083)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24047) - you deserved it (2473)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

#13801258
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (3729)

On 11/11/2010 at 11:53am - work - by khaelian - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (51306)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

#13116896
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (5777)

On 09/19/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

#17597789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (5013)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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