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Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (3293)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

#14531234
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (3335)

On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

#19575961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (1890)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

#19907093
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (1467)

On 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm - work - by cj1012 - United States

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

#20093240
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

#20950083
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (5491)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:00am - intimacy - by xomelodygervais (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

#5573179
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (11717)

On 09/30/2009 at 8:56pm - misc - by QuestionMyLife - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

#19031754
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (1825)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:37am - misc - by Ihaveaheadache - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (63127)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (2279)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (1972)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (7919)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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