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Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (7057)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (9056)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (38751)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (12164)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (8434)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML

#20025166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (1640)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by rainbows? more like shitstorms (man) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

#6865910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (2187)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (4000)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (2203)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

#14264681
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (4984)

On 12/19/2010 at 9:26pm - misc - by me (woman) - Bulgaria

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (1989)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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