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Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States

Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML

#18175852
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (5262)

On 11/06/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (15209)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

#17405382
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (6161)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

#21354453
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (5599)

On 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, my boss texted me to say the office was closed because of the snow. I begged him to let me go in anyway because I had nothing to do all day. I have no life, friends or hobbies. FML

#14118348
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (11574)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:13am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

#10334392
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (14971)

On 05/04/2010 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Rejection (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
49 comments

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

#18355458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (3507)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by meeeeeee - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

#18403408
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (3045)

On 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm - work - by JadeC - United States (New York)

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

#18039079
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26441) - you deserved it (5087)

On 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (11878)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version



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