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Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

#13910600
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (16239)

On 11/20/2010 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

#18557355
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (6490)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by BKCK4187 - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (1952)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was startled by my roommate marching a drunk man out of our apartment. Somehow he found his way in complete darkness into the bathroom without alerting me or my dog next to the only door. He mistook the clothes hamper for the toilet. FML

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (11882)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

#9211500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (20258)

On 03/19/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (4201)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

#14791787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25459) - you deserved it (7231)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:46pm - animals - by Wheresthebeefz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML

#14954069
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (7918)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:31am - work - by jobless - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (3517)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

#16369010
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25454) - you deserved it (8292)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:45am - work - by colebear - United States

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (3093)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)



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