Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (14504)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (2669)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

#6931978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (4802)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (3105)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (4431)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (4661)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (13502)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (2282)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (1666)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23983) - you deserved it (4412)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (8149)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: