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Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (2786)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (4368)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (13988)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

#18247557
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (7919)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20628) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
151 comments

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (47980)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20627) - you deserved it (3646)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

#13372887
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (6232)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Rob - United States (New York)

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

#18650624
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (3404)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (2899)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (2921)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

#7059140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (8556)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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