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Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

#7813334
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (3860)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:32pm - animals - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

#18880094
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (3620)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I needed to buy a new helmet. When I got to the sport shop, there was only one left in my size and preferred color. 30 minutes after buying it, my head starts itching. Turns out I paid $40 for lice. FML

#19319273
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (2036)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (2276)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (2934)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

#19315515
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (3658)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm - love - by anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML

#14212061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (2157)

On 12/15/2010 at 11:16am - work - by blahmylife (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

#14481844
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (13102)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (10459)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (16129)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (4526)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)



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