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Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24272) - you deserved it (17057)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (9541)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (12404)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (3408)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (48633)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (3703)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (5397)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (4621)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (2155)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (9284)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (45440)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States



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