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Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (6095)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (2838)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (4197)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

#14199990
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (5603)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:52am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (1969)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

#17388987
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (2192)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Pinkie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (1734)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (6077)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (3820)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

#19833959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (1609)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm - misc - by herpmonster (woman) - Italy

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (38209)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)



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