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Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8665) - you deserved it (28709)
On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States
Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8664) - you deserved it (22080)
On 05/31/2010 at 7:59am - misc - by frgn8r (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8662) - you deserved it (11237)
On 04/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by rabbitoncocaine (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8659) - you deserved it (57410)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)
Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (42167)
On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8652) - you deserved it (15577)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8651) - you deserved it (19770)
On 11/04/2011 at 9:32am - work - by psychteacher - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8644) - you deserved it (39173)
On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8644) - you deserved it (20829)
On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8643) - you deserved it (23313)
On 10/22/2009 at 1:20pm - misc - by Typrokka (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8640) - you deserved it (23882)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (19177)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8636) - you deserved it (18813)
On 12/23/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 17 June 2013
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