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Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

#19434317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (2531)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Foreveralone (woman) - United States

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (1472)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (5859)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (2601)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

#19586621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21836) - you deserved it (5253)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (4095)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21834) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (5858)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

#14347909
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (2050)

On 12/26/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by JennieA -

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

#6919717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/24/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (53846)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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