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Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21856) - you deserved it (5669)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

#2298
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (3163)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:33am - love - by josh - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed: standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my brand new car. FML

#8866144
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (6754)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:22am - misc - by Coldflame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (2626)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

#6005073
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21852) - you deserved it (29532)

On 10/26/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

#19024888
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (1686)

On 02/08/2012 at 6:27am - misc - by 3.14 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

#17776041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (5055)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by Lisa - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (3147)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (3697)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (1946)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (3292)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

#20096710
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (10280)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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