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Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you deserved it (33336)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

#19536955
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (2154)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (1882)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

#8585714
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (61847)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (4492)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

#20609406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (42191)

On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my landlady decided to fix the leak in my room. Her solution was repainting the ceiling. Now not only is my room still wet but it now reeks of paint thinner. FML

#5860087
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (1609)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML

#347
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (3670)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by archer - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (1737)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (3714)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

#19016391
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (2015)

On 02/07/2012 at 4:27am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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