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Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

#20038307
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (1377)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

#20954898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (44288)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (2529)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21377) - you deserved it (62232)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21376) - you deserved it (4237)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (2556)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (6487)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (3406)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

#17630821
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (1554)

On 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by EwwGross - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (1484)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

#3525
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (5148)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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