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Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8198) - you deserved it (17840)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8194) - you deserved it (30412)
On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8194) - you deserved it (16710)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally figured out that when a man says "Maybe some other time, I'll be busy then" more than once, he really means "I don't really want to see you again. I didn't think you'd actually USE my number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8193) - you deserved it (22285)
On 09/17/2009 at 12:15am - love - by justplainsad (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8191) - you deserved it (78143)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8190) - you deserved it (22677)
On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8191) - you deserved it (20210)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8187) - you deserved it (66951)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8183) - you deserved it (64748)
On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8183) - you deserved it (14788)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States
Today, I was working at a soup kitchen with people from my church. Seeing a rather disheveled couple, I told them the line started "over there". Only then did I realize that they were from my church, and were there to help serve soup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (26707)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by zyordz (man) - Peru (Huanuco)
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies "That's my dad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (50813)
On 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by derranged - China (Tianjin)
Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (27828)
On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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