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Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (4448)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (7402)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

#21346487
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (1826)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

#14551345
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (2423)

On 01/12/2011 at 5:58am - love - by lovefool (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (7425)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

#14316473
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (8725)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by troubleintoyland (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

#6681968
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (5641)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words "You're fired." FML

#14074861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML

#14577178
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (3883)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by humiliated (woman) - United Kingdom (East Ayrshire)

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (2083)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (2155)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

#7306098
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24417) - you deserved it (1980)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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