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Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (5516)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

#18065125
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (2240)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:06pm - health - by Britney - United States

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

#21386816
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (8230)

On 04/03/2015 at 12:37am - work - by eaglesmile - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

#14150271
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (8701)

On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (2854)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

#13300010
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (4760)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

#18875593
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (11243)

On 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm - love - by Scumbagmemory (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

#19712104
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (1818)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm - work - by Elmoo - Netherlands

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (70844)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

#21390911
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (10297)

On 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm - misc - by Jakesssss - United States (Ohio)

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

#21439774
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)



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