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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML

#525
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (6351)

On 12/16/2008 at 2:05am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML

#6883824
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (5387)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my friends help me put on a suit of full plate armor for a medieval re-enactment. After the battle, my friends left. I can't get the armor off by myself and will probably have to sleep in it. FML

#15136190
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (9132)

On 02/27/2011 at 5:10am - misc - by hurley (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (14697)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

#21325140
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/27/2014 at 5:12am - misc - by still on hol - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML

#12782161
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (6739)

On 08/28/2010 at 1:49am - intimacy - by JessykaB - United States

Today, I found out that absentmindedly correcting my boss' use of the word "whom" could result in my immediate termination. FML

#18146820
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (7922)

On 11/03/2011 at 11:44am - work - by LuckyLoser9 - United States

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (3873)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

#19724259
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (2037)

On 06/03/2012 at 12:25am - money - by Grrrawrwtf - United States

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (2715)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML

#18853779
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (7750)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm - health - by ohforcheese - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (4338)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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