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Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

by FailBear / 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

by Ariel_Mariaa / 11/04/2011 at 7:25pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML

by Xandriajoy10 / 01/04/2016 at 12:21am / Australia / Kids

Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

by Schizomaniac / 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

by impickingyourhomegran / 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me via text message that he had moved to Bristol, and the reason he had ignored me the past fortnight was because he didn't know how to tell me. He knew he was moving even before we even got together. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2010 at 10:36am / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Love

Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

by smeeagain / 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

by no money anymore / 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm / United States / Money

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm / Australia / Miscellaneous