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Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17170) - you deserved it (1456)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17171) - you deserved it (38252)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17165) - you deserved it (1906)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17162) - you deserved it (32634)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you deserved it (62827)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you deserved it (3339)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

#19567583
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17160) - you deserved it (6208)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:16am - work - by mathguy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17160) - you deserved it (2311)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17159) - you deserved it (3320)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

#20035629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (1076)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (560)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17152) - you deserved it (11313)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)



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