Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (2687)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (2824)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (2224)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally finished my summer assignments for three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out my school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of my summer. FML

#20028136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (1884)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by spandexwiener (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (43853)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

#18604645
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (6575)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

#7142221
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (2176)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:15am - work - by WetWetWet (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (4100)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (4721)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

#14347909
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (2129)

On 12/26/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by JennieA -

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

#19454925
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (12260)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (30225)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: