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Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

#19272838
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (8034)

On 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (9500)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML

#18931517
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/28/2012 at 3:35am - intimacy - by BigDT (man) -

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (7155)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (8094)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25531) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25529) - you deserved it (20060)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

#15266728
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (4321)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -

Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML

#19231492
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (2143)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

#20183636
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25526) - you deserved it (12738)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (4252)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML

#12850151
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (6504)

On 09/01/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by deserted - Sent from mobile version



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