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Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (10047)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (2459)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (2027)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

#21428077
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (1969)

On 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (6139)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (1722)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office for an appointment. After waiting for ages, I asked the receptionist what the delay was. Apparently, I had no standing appointment today. This is coming from the same receptionist who checked me in nearly two hours ago. FML

#14733317
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/27/2011 at 4:31pm - work - by ihateoldmagazines (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

#19385942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (3104)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:32am - work - by Kristat (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

#7284485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (2111)

On 01/11/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by hateskool888581 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (3331)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)



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