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Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (11346)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

#20035629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (1076)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (560)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17155) - you deserved it (11314)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (3686)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17152) - you deserved it (1177)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17151) - you deserved it (5307)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML

Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

#19488573
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17145) - you deserved it (1869)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:49am - work - by Disgruntled (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17143) - you deserved it (4541)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France



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