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Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

by fuckstudentloans / 06/18/2015 at 7:29pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 12:29am / United States / Animals

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

by Oopsie / 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

by mmvv / 02/08/2010 at 12:41am / United States / Love

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

by weezer / 02/21/2011 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

by jynxisadouchebag / 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after informing my boss I needed stress leave from my 70 hour a week shifts, I got my new work assignment. Sixty hours a week starting at 2am. FML

by NotAMorningPerson / 02/11/2011 at 11:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

by XxHinkaixX / 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

by Elmoo / 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

by Good Parenting? / 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous