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Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

#19238093
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17214) - you deserved it (6315)

On 03/08/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by Anon - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17213) - you deserved it (2538)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (4280)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17211) - you deserved it (3204)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17210) - you deserved it (39226)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17208) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

#19812201
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17206) - you deserved it (1963)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17206) - you deserved it (3334)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents took pictures of my tattoos to make sure I'm "not affiliated with any gangs." I have never even been arrested. FML

#20005337
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17204) - you deserved it (3431)

On 08/06/2012 at 4:13am - love - by awkwardparents - United States (California)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (6876)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

#1741701
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17201) - you deserved it (40885)

On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17197) - you deserved it (61506)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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