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Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (21120)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22285) - you deserved it (3283)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML

#8195663
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22285) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22285) - you deserved it (4622)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

#20096505
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (2407) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (67257)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22282) - you deserved it (4686)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

#3577359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (42985)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML

#18362103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/27/2011 at 12:30am - health - by jogger (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

#17577753
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (2148)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (4289)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (1905)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)



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