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Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

#19464550
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (3687)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (6061)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

#12860469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (7615)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by Rollymouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (3516)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

#14606739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (4210)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

#19194281
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (18949)

On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (2352)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (1760)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (1406)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (4677)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

#18343732
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Dave B - Reserved

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (1517)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)



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