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Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (7408)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (33180)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (15236)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (4448)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (3050)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

#21346487
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (1826)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

#14551345
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (2423)

On 01/12/2011 at 5:58am - love - by lovefool (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

#14316473
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (8725)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by troubleintoyland (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (7425)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

#7306098
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (2155)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

#6681968
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (5641)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words "You're fired." FML

#14074861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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