Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21194) - you deserved it (3820)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21193) - you deserved it (4114)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (1683)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

#14630970
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21191) - you deserved it (3274)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (5216)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (5786)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I was on the phone with Microsoft Customer Service for about a total of 2 hours. That's the longest I've ever talked to anybody. FML

#17700838
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (3937)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Juicy12Jham - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (2946)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (5310)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (4856)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21181) - you deserved it (9477)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

#19362332
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21181) - you deserved it (2159)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:47am - money - by honeymooner (man) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: