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Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

#13723966
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20793) - you deserved it (11589)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gwynedd)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20793) - you deserved it (1447)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (9008)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (45426)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (8818)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (2387)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

#3032403
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (34970)

On 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (4684)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (3299)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (2984)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

#13075106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20778) - you deserved it (11920)

On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (4947)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

#14356435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20772) - you deserved it (7476)

On 12/27/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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