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Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (7890)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (8734)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I am really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date Tuesday. FML

#7218409
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (5140)

On 01/08/2010 at 3:06pm - love - by brokenrelicslost (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my first day-off for the holidays. Today is also the day they decided to start building a house next to mine. I can't sleep beyond 7 am. FML

#7007835
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by dentinpalevo (man) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22725) - you deserved it (1636)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (6648)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (12627)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

#19624704
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (2701)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

#14945548
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (16044)

On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)

Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "no pets" policy. FML

#19781168
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (1626)

On 06/13/2012 at 8:29am - misc - by brokeass - United States

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (47811)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (3068)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States



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