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Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (6896)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (4919)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (3158)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27846) - you deserved it (2422)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

#19101039
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27846) - you deserved it (1961)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

#21472776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/26/2015 at 12:10am - kids - by :| (woman) - New Zealand (Nelson)

Today, the incredibly handsome, talented, hilarious, and intelligent man that I've fallen head over heels like no other for is gay. FML

#764
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (4096)

On 12/31/2008 at 1:03pm - love - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

#20128171
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (6933)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm - misc - by preggersmcgee (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

#21438009
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (2621)

On 07/07/2015 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (8140)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (9507)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (2822)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

#17516576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (4063)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Reena (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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