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Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (3157)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (2688)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

#20083494
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (1664)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm - work - by Annette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

#13010749
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (5349)

On 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (47452)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (6610)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (41405)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

#2234
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (1828)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm - work - by Promo girl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

#19715534
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (1721)

On 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm - health - by Ashe (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (11380)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

#18838483
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (4590)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by Sheliton (woman) - United States



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