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Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

#7077450
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (2273)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
580 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20756) - you deserved it (232465)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (6152)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

#19370577
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (3491)

On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (3087)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20752) - you deserved it (3662)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (7489)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

#17552222
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (5802)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by Moron (woman) - Canada

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (8963)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (4103)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (1911)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (3269)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (18097)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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