Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (3100)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21416) - you deserved it (6797)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (2224)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

#6182912
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21415) - you deserved it (5965)

On 11/06/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Airhead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

#19812201
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21415) - you deserved it (2315)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (3774)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (41716)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (35771)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML

#7775610
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (6399)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:45am - animals - by dontbadouche - Senegal

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

#19733599
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (2292)

On 06/04/2012 at 4:37pm - kids - by obtuse_ballsack (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (6022)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: