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Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you deserved it (17153)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8206) - you deserved it (19614)
On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (23863) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (47558)
On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (27036)
On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version
Today, I flew my wife, myself and three kids to pay a surprise visit to my parents who were going to be alone for Christmas. When we arrived, we found out they decided to go on vacation. We have nowhere to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (16158)
On 12/24/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by homeless4Christmas (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (63986)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I wanted to clean the screen of my phone so I could put a new screen protector on it. My mom handed me a can of compressed air and I sprayed a healthy amount on the screen. It turns out my mom handed me a can of WD 40. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8201) - you deserved it (21494)
On 01/24/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by ianj (man) - United States
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you deserved it (43104)
On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8194) - you deserved it (16710)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8194) - you deserved it (17839)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8191) - you deserved it (30411)
On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I finally figured out that when a man says "Maybe some other time, I'll be busy then" more than once, he really means "I don't really want to see you again. I didn't think you'd actually USE my number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8191) - you deserved it (22286)
On 09/17/2009 at 12:15am - love - by justplainsad (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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