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Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (4993)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (1796)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (1957)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

#18772974
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24908) - you deserved it (2042)

On 01/11/2012 at 2:47am - animals - by GrossedOut (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

#19469984
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24908) - you deserved it (5518)

On 04/15/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Were do we go... - United States

Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

#19028650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (3508)

On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (17887)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24905) - you deserved it (2466)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24905) - you deserved it (10280)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (38329)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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