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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

#8466183
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8131) - you deserved it (37161)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:09am - health - by fatflabbyfail - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML

#8465985
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28739) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:04am - intimacy - by VahnSeiro (man) - United States (Texas)

 Today, after flying halfway across the world to see the man I love, he admitted cheating on me several days before I arrived, not only with someone I know, but with someone I hate. FML

#8464823
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:30am - love - by izhamilton (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the 20% pay cut that the "management team" took at my job really only applied to... me. I also found out that my closest friend at work has been lying to me about it, and telling my boss everything I say. His pay was never cut. I guess it pays to be the boss's snitch. FML

#8458857
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (2048)

On 02/19/2010 at 10:13pm - work - by monochromatic - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (3784)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

#8455836
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29673) - you deserved it (2583)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:54pm - kids - by beezybees (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20421) - you deserved it (6218)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the roads were OK, so I cleaned the ice and snow off my car so I could go out. I rolled my window down a little bit while I was driving to clear the snow off the base of the window. A chunk of ice flew off my hood, in through the window, and hit my eye. I then hit a snowbank. FML

#8452983
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (5134)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by ouch - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30954) - you deserved it (4738)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML

#8445794
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

#8445631
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:18pm - love - by wtfuraretard (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (2031)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States



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