Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (1662)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25541) - you deserved it (8099)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

#8814971
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15737) - you deserved it (11366)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by J-Ro - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12001) - you deserved it (23868)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (2275)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (2904)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8654) - you deserved it (26763)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was upset that my boyfriend hasn't called in a while. Turns out, my step-mother blocked his number so he can't call. She never told me and, instead, just let me think he hated me. FML

#8801800
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (2315)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
220 comments

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (3608)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

#8800523
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (3888)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by pothole - United States (Maryland)

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

#8799499
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (4437)

On 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm - kids - by M95 (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (7522)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)



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