Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71084) - you deserved it (10854)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47110) - you deserved it (5833)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51267) - you deserved it (3087)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:14am - health - by Swaby (man) - Hong Kong
Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (75050)
On 03/01/2009 at 1:58am - intimacy - by fmlisthebomb (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14626) - you deserved it (98293)
On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55118) - you deserved it (2175)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41505) - you deserved it (20332)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AppState (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (278665) - you deserved it (22673)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126616) - you deserved it (3742)
On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a 31% on a Chinese test at school. I moved here to New Jersey from China two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49495) - you deserved it (15776)
On 02/28/2009 at 3:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44060) - you deserved it (2628)
On 02/28/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by AnnaMarie. (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53430) - you deserved it (586537)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (22639)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong
Friday 24 May 2013
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