Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy there while you're there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48034) - you deserved it (3944)
On 03/02/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Not Jewish (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41239) - you deserved it (15463)
On 03/02/2009 at 2:24am - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43954) - you deserved it (7463)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14314) - you deserved it (38058)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58019) - you deserved it (3381)
On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, i walked into starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, " NO". There was a 'now hiring' sign in the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36034) - you deserved it (3747)
On 03/01/2009 at 10:03pm - work - by timmyb (man) - United States (California)
Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35222) - you deserved it (2873)
On 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm - work - by bottlepoppin (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80770) - you deserved it (8509)
On 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by groomfail (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10624) - you deserved it (38183)
On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20916) - you deserved it (54641)
On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57037) - you deserved it (1858)
On 03/01/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Meh (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47585) - you deserved it (9042)
On 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by Ashley J. (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85908) - you deserved it (192535)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
↑ luvlee's comment : you shouldnt have been cheating on her
See all the comments →