Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (3777)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

#7338496
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (16348)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

#7336661
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Lost (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

#7336646
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (4784)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12401) - you deserved it (29317)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17014) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

#7336532
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30050) - you deserved it (4386)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:45am - kids - by hair2daygone4ever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5144) - you deserved it (39958)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink. He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine. FML

#7336128
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:54am - intimacy - by windskurfer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (6427)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46120) - you deserved it (2573)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
79 comments


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