Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (14243)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I went to pour myself a cup of coffee and noticed our kittens were playing in the living room. Transfixed by the cuteness, I didn't notice I started pouring hot coffee on my hand and foot. FML

#13183751
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10918) - you deserved it (29655)

On 09/24/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (6555)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML

#13180863
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14251) - you deserved it (72859)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (4414)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML

#13179613
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (6039)

On 09/24/2010 at 2:33am - money - by sauce - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally got everything in order to ask out the girl of my dreams. I bought her a gold necklace, engraved with our names, and with the date on the back. Everything was going great until she got sick and had to go home. Now I'm stuck with this necklace with the wrong date. FML

#13178719
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11931) - you deserved it (51166)

On 09/24/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

TomasT's comment : You bought a necklace and engraved it... FOR A DATE? How needy are you? Geez.. desperation obviously has a price... the price of a necklace.

See all the comments →

Today, I was surfing the web for Halloween costumes, and found one labeled "Extreme Girl Nerd". With the wig, the glasses, and the buck-teeth, it looked exactly like me. FML

#13174458
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (6489)

On 09/23/2010 at 8:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

#13173364
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (2895)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by lalala_hahaha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave my boss the paperwork to approve my commissions for the month. She wouldn't sign it, saying, "Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel that I've signed this before." She hasn't. I have no commission, and my boss is crazy. FML

#13170649
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (2357)

On 09/23/2010 at 3:02pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11988) - you deserved it (36215)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I recently graduated from highschool and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML

#13168401
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6961) - you deserved it (59165)

On 09/23/2010 at 10:17am - misc - by idiotwithaface - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: