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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (6736)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

#7998625
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (3529)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:41am - love - by mmvv - United States

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

#7997693
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (6979)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:21am - love - by cupcakemonsteryu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40558) - you deserved it (3507)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (5239)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

#7984912
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5923) - you deserved it (28517)

On 02/07/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by 16seconds - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (3024)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (7538)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML

#7973705
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (2556)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by mrmr - United States (Arizona)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)



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