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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47531) - you deserved it (5538)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

#7390812
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (8811)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:37am - work - by mikey09 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (5467)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

#7390490
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5127) - you deserved it (64578)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

#7390197
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (2792)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:13am - love - by Weathersucks - France

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

#7389576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10101) - you deserved it (24623)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by Stumble (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12092) - you deserved it (25616)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

#7384100
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (7939)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML

becalm's comment : Yeah, you're an ass.

See all the comments →

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

#7380973
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (4578)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62056) - you deserved it (7087)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9465) - you deserved it (40634)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35786) - you deserved it (3401)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore



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