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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14845) - you deserved it (36544)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (2799)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

#13199866
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16909) - you deserved it (24648)

On 09/25/2010 at 8:15pm - misc - by educatttiiioonnn (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (4151)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26239) - you deserved it (4514)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18598) - you deserved it (44359)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

#13190418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (6324)

On 09/25/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

#13188457
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

#13187937
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40871) - you deserved it (4756)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML

#13187772
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (3545)

On 09/24/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (7668)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (14243)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I went to pour myself a cup of coffee and noticed our kittens were playing in the living room. Transfixed by the cuteness, I didn't notice I started pouring hot coffee on my hand and foot. FML

#13183751
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10918) - you deserved it (29655)

On 09/24/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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