Kids: Running gag

Running gag

By TheJoker - 12/05/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 804

You deserved it 3 200

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Same thing different taste

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 6 929

By bet a woman would've been thanked - 07/05/2013 20:21 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 106

You deserved it 3 104

By Anonymous - 31/08/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 203

You deserved it 2 528

By bcoper - 25/06/2012 16:09 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 265

You deserved it 2 630

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 11:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 5 783

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 686

You deserved it 55 051

By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 07:41 - United States

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 876

You deserved it 4 624

By foreveryoung - 30/04/2016 16:23 - France

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 918

You deserved it 3 292

Free kick

By steph - 01/06/2009 04:50 - Canada

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 330

You deserved it 38 264

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 113

ForestFire0 1

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:12

Well, he's safe at least. What a brat. I blame the parents for giving him fear without intelligence.

immafiremylaser 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:12

That's what you get for being a considerate person.

Comments

theannoyingone 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:08

ahaha FYL

rawrlily 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 15:19

how old was he? Like 9?

immafiremylaser 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:12

That's what you get for being a considerate person.

ForestFire0 1

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:12

Well, he's safe at least. What a brat. I blame the parents for giving him fear without intelligence.

mcrpatd 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:13

wow that suckss:) you shoulda screemed stranger danger when they were talkin to you !! lol but i dont know who would belive that one...

rw4rf1s 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:15

Kids these days.. T__T Some things just go too far.

rachelbrianna25 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:25

this is made up... i have read several similar stories to this one

crownme 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:31

Wow. . ."Stranger Danger" that's a good one

hk_fml 9

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:37

Awwww xD how cute. You must look really scary for the kid to scream stranger danger

mollyjynxjax 28

Thursday 1 August 2013 22:56

Nah, I think the kid's just a stupid little ******

Douse22 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:44

******* asshole!!! go find better things to do then preying on little boys assholes.

juzt 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:54

paranoia.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 223

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 917

You deserved it 11 127

Today, I found out that my promotion had been rescinded and given to someone else, all because I was on a pre-approved vacation. According to my boss, they need someone who's "committed to the company" for the position, and gave me a lecture on how if I keep being "lazy" and "unmotivated" I'll never get ahead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 97

Today, while I was skyping two of my guy friends, my mom barged into my room to show me a really nice new lipstick she bought and wanted me to try on. It was a beautiful red color and as I asked how I looked with it on, my mother laughed and responded with "hahaha you look like a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 488

You deserved it 447

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 235

You deserved it 49 047

Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 488

Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 725

You deserved it 7 437

Running gag

Same thing different taste

Freaked

Free kick

Opportunist

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