Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (85922)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14979) - you deserved it (38370)
On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (988391) - you deserved it (78619)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14299) - you deserved it (74828)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (4195)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12048) - you deserved it (54323)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)
Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After saying my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last words. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9006) - you deserved it (41590)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:55am - love - by Not so quick getaway. (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother decided she wanted the family to go on a special outing for the holidays. She asked me to drive everyone when she got home from work. Later I noticed the house was empty. The whole family, including the dog, left without telling me. They took my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45121) - you deserved it (1737)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:55am - animals - by effingpot (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17340) - you deserved it (31353)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (44422)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40714) - you deserved it (7107)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:30am - work - by eggs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" for the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43921) - you deserved it (3489)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:54am - kids - by EmmaG123 (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (9509)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by caswell 1 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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