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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (7995)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10233) - you deserved it (29362)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

#8859740
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (2348)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:16am - health - by KateD - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML

#8859695
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11873) - you deserved it (38150)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - love - by mariah_1_11 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

#8859688
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (4479)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by shortiem (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

#8852783
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27812) - you deserved it (1994)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife of four years confessed to me that she only married me for the money. FML

#8852527
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (3428)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by mrrichkid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (2628)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, there was a flood at my friends house. As a result, their cat shelter had to be evacuated, and my mother decided to help. I came home to 23 cats in my bedroom. I'm highly allergic. My face has now swollen up to the size of a football, and I have an important job interview tomorrow. FML

Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

#8846079
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (2138)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:21pm - misc - by copenhagen20 - United States (Armed Forces Africa)

Today, while in bed, my nose became runny. Being as tired as I was, I decided to ignore it until the morning. Turns out it was a nose bleed, and my pillowcase is ruined. FML

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

#8843088
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (2503)

On 03/05/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by FatalxDesire599 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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