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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

#13173364
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (2895)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by lalala_hahaha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave my boss the paperwork to approve my commissions for the month. She wouldn't sign it, saying, "Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel that I've signed this before." She hasn't. I have no commission, and my boss is crazy. FML

#13170649
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (2356)

On 09/23/2010 at 3:02pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11987) - you deserved it (36211)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I recently graduated from highschool and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML

#13168401
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6960) - you deserved it (59144)

On 09/23/2010 at 10:17am - misc - by idiotwithaface - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was unsuccessful at a job interview, and she didn't want to be with someone who "has no future". She's unemployed too. FML

#13167469
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35184) - you deserved it (3901)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18am - love - by man2 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14131) - you deserved it (48583)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my parents' place to visit. My ex-boyfriend's photo is on the fridge, but there aren't any photos of my husband or any of our wedding photos. FML

#13167101
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/23/2010 at 5:59am - misc - by annoyed - United States (California)

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

#13165960
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (15859)

On 09/23/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by non believer - United States (Washington)

Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML

#13164838
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17410) - you deserved it (27513)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:31am - money - by giantsfan2010 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

#13163125
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8766) - you deserved it (26952)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by joshualover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (4497)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

#13161532
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14790) - you deserved it (34360)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by gt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

#13158872
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/22/2010 at 5:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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