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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML

#5500078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34763) - you deserved it (16073)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:32am - money - by TractorUWG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML

#5498846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31187) - you deserved it (18805)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Dead_Eye (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37591) - you deserved it (3025)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with friends I hadn't seen in years. We took a few group shots with my camera, and I went home and downloaded them to my computer. Seeing them on my monitor, I noticed a yellow spot on my black shirt, so I looked down. A big, dried booger was stuck there. FML

#5498467
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (9611)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by PigPen (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

#5497802
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (3916)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by bubblegummm13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

#5497361
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (3476)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

#5494744
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (58499)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48526) - you deserved it (3755)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on facebook. But, the worse part is he then texted me saying "This is my reply". FML

#5490977
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31429) - you deserved it (4365)

On 09/26/2009 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML

#5489244
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (7146)

On 09/26/2009 at 5:23pm - work - by bzygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

#5488289
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (7163)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45235) - you deserved it (4942)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)



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