Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was driving to my company picnic with 85 lbs of meat in the back seat, and 1 gallon of homemade BBQ sauce and mustard in large pans riding shotgun. As I drove down a steep hill, the BBQ sauce pan slid forward, hit the glove box and exploded in my front seat. FML

#13214179
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14224) - you deserved it (21862)

On 09/26/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

#13213311
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (3934)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by amorousintx - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

#13213227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (2874)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35546) - you deserved it (6343)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Freeze's comment : Free money.

See all the comments →

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

#13209934
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3263)

On 09/26/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was in my hotel room. I picked up an expensive wine from the mini fridge, just to see what it is. I heard a mechanical "bling". I was charged for it. Then, I tried to put it back, only to hear another "bling". I was charged twice for expensive wine that I won't even drink. FML

#13206700
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (10394)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:29am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML

#13206157
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46152) - you deserved it (6941)

On 09/26/2010 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

#13205814
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (35529)

On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, telling him he needed to be more responsible, and stop relying on me for everything. When I told him to leave, he told me he needed some gas money. FML

#13205428
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30580) - you deserved it (5415)

On 09/26/2010 at 3:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26437) - you deserved it (3287)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

#13204000
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35807) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14845) - you deserved it (36543)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (2799)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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