By Lulu - 05/12/2013 23:39 - United States - Imperial
baddygirl6
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Baddygirl6's favorite FMLs
By purebliss - 06/12/2013 00:43 - Australia - Rozelle
purebliss_fml tells us more.
By marcranger - 06/12/2013 02:30 - United States - Littleton
marcranger tells us more.
This actually happened a couple years ago, and to answer everyone's implied questions, yes he is now my ex, yes this incident was the catalyst, yes I called the cops, and yes I got the car back! After standing outside for a few seconds with my jaw flapping in the wind, then realizing my phone was in the car to top everything else off, I went back inside and had the attendant dial the local cops. Since I knew the make, model, license plate, and rough direction where the cockhole was going, it was pretty easy to track down. He did have the audacity to call me and ask (demand, actually) that I bail his ass out, but I laughed and hung up. I ultimately wound up dropping the charges, since his parents are very well-connected in their hometown, and I knew the lawyer they got him would have been able to get him off on probation or something equally pathetic. But mostly I dropped them because the family was wealthy and vindictive enough that I could have seen them suing me (!!!) to get back the cost of the lawyer's fees, and once it was all said and done, I just wanted a clean break. He had some mental health issues (depression, alcoholism, longtime unemployment) going on way before this, and I'd been weighing my options for getting out for a while. At least his real-life GTA5 enactment gave me the chance I needed!
By butterfingers - 06/12/2013 07:08 - United States - New Wilmington
Make yourselves at home
By unlucky neighbors - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - China - Shanghai
By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 16:13 - United States - San Francisco
By falconjade - 06/12/2013 17:28 - Canada - Bowmanville
falconjade tells us more.
OP here! The dog got out when the old man who rents out a room in my friends house - though he'd been repeatedly warned not to - let the dog out. The dogs not very well-trained and does not come when you call him, which is why we keep him inside except for when he goes on walks, on a leash. We had all been getting ready for our schools semi formal so we ran out into the cold in bare feet and dresses while we tried to make sure the dog didn't run away. He was running back towards our friends house when the car hit him. My friend lives beside a public school so the dog was hit in a school crossing zone, so there was no reason for the driver to be going fast enough to not be able to hit the brakes in time, but evidently he was. Fortunately the dog is a massive German Shepard. When he got hit, there was a terrifying bang followed by horrid whimpering. We all thought he was going to die. I'm trained in first aid and checked for injuries on the dogs body, and he seemed fine, except for a scrape on his eyebrow, so I took him back to the house. The bumper of the car was knocked clean off and it seems the dog has a concussion but he will live, but the driver keeps showing up to my friends house, who can't afford a vet bill, let alone the repairs cost.
By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 21:37 - United States - Albuquerque
By eat my fucking ass, boss - 06/12/2013 23:37 - Australia - Melbourne
It is
By Anonymous - 07/12/2013 07:17 - United States - San Pablo
By :^( - 07/12/2013 17:30 - Bahrain - Isa Town
Hood life
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States
By mystery - 07/12/2013 21:55 - United States - Minot
Kids grow up so fast
By bella - 08/12/2013 01:07 - United States - Edinburg
By ballplaya52 - 08/12/2013 05:04 - United States
ballplaya52 tells us more.
Hey all! OP here. I just a wanted to clear a few things up. I know the wording may have been confusing and given you all the wrong image. When I said that she'd embarrass me by singing in public, I literally meant singing. To me. About me. In public. Loudly. Like not even a real song. But when I read over it when it got published, it sounded to me like people could interpret it like she would sing karaoke or something. Anyways it only lasted a minute or so so it wasn't that bad, but we did get some stares. And for those comments saying to live a little, I don't sing or dance in public as a personal rule because I'm not any good at either. Anyways thanks to the moderators for publishing this and I will see you guys around on this awesome website :)
By ashsaunde - 08/12/2013 06:58 - United States - Denver
ashsaunde tells us more.
Hey OP here! First off, thanks for publishing this. It's the first one I've ever submitted. Secondly, yes he was finger painting with it as well as wiping his butt on everything in his room. We're in the middle of potty training so he thought he was helping by cleaning himself off. I also had to clean him and all of his stuffed animals up because he got it EVERYWHERE. Yes, he did get punished in an appropriate way because he's not gonna know it was wrong unless I teach him. And to the comment that I said I need to watch him better, it was while he was napping in his room. Any parent knows you can't watch your kids constantly.
By blah! - 08/12/2013 13:19 - United States - Newington
By Anonymous - 08/12/2013 16:49 - United States - San Francisco
Anger management
By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey
By BabeWithBrains - 08/12/2013 19:01 - United States - Cheyenne
BabeWithBrains tells us more.
Wow, I didn't think I would get published. Let me clear some things up:) -My boyfriend and my brother-in-law are best friends and bought onesies together. They have been wearing them all night and day. They are a bit crazy, but fun. -My boy works outside in snow, so that's why he wore it to work. -It's also below zero where I live so it's cold at night, hence the bed wearing. -The sex however... Well, there is basically a slit in the back and buttons in the front. He thought it was hilarious, but it won't be happening again. I guess it's just something that he wanted to try and I love him so I did it. Oh, and it doesn't smell.. Yet. ;)
OP here :) Some of you have taken this the wrong way so let me clarify - I was in NO way trying to garner 'likes' for donating to the Nelson Mandela Children's Hospital. I never even mentioned that I donated, I just posted the link and a little comment saying Please donate in honour of his memory. I assume no one donated because they didn't say anything and I just think it's a bit sad because even a couple of dollars goes a long way. Not many of my friends would have heard of the hospital either so I thought if I brought it to their attention they could donate and help the children in South Africa receive the care and treatment they desperately need. I believe it's a great way to honour Nelson Mandela's memory.