hassi158

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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

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Inception

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The Mixer

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

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The return of the thumb

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I liked to the power of 20

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Hassi158's favorite FMLs

metalwolf tells us more.

The problem isn't really organizing my time. Ideally I would like to get to sleep right when I get home and wake up in the early afternoon, but usually I fall asleep in the afternoon and wake up just a bit before I need to go to work again. Speaking of, I should be asleep right now.

Capteen_fml tells us more.

OP here! I definitely have a new mattress, and the frames been well cleaned as it was in storage for a while. To the people saying get over it - I'm not upset or creeped out too much, I just thought it was FML worthy. And no, I have no intention of 'repeating the cycle' to my children as such - I need to finish my studies before even considering children!

GogoTheGreat tells us more.

GogoTheGreat 12

Her hair was in her face so I couldn't tell if there was a beard or not.

MissMae93 tells us more.

To everyone saying I should have called in: unfortunately my work only provides about 3 sick days, which I used when I had my wisdom teeth removed. As for management, usually only one or two people are required to run the entire store (and of course, it was just me). They require much more notice and there was no one else available for the shift. Thank you to everyone with kind words and trust me, if I could have called in, I would have.

anonymous4991 tells us more.

From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.

CharlieOrion tells us more.

CharlieOrion 7

Hey, I'm OP- and I'm really not that fat! I've just gained weight quickly, cause I'm stressed about exams... This didn't really help much!

runner2731 tells us more.

runner2731 0

I am gonna watch the avergers soon and I'm gonna watch the incredible hulk, both iron man movies, and captain America.

JPTK tells us more.

JPTK 1

OP CLARIFICATION TIME!!!!! A *month* ago, me and my ex broke up as I was moving away, 3 days later she got drunk and had rebound sex with some guy. Talking to my best mate, he said we should go on a lads holiday around Europe to get over our exs etc. (He broke up with his around the same time). Y'know - meet some girls, work on our tan, drinks on the beach, you know the drill! Yesterday, when we were supposed to book, he told me he had to pull out as he'd gotten back with his ex and wanted to go on holiday with her. That is why FML.

nerdsgetmehot tells us more.

So...A little back story. I went to the doctor to get tests because I often feel faint and dizzy in the mornings and it's quite an inconvenience. Just last week, when I took my cat to the vet, I ended up starting to black out randomly. Pretty embarrassing and obviously super inconvenient, as I had to drive home afterwards and was doubtful about whether or not I was okay enough to drive home. I get to the verge of fainting often enough to concern me. I've gotten a few tests over the years, but my doctor remains largely unconcerned about it. She thinks it's just my very low blood pressure, but I do everything I can to help that. I drink lots of water, eat salty snacks, and never get up too quickly-- but it doesn't help. So, ironically, I ended up fainting at a doctors' appointment to look into why I keep almost fainting. To answer some frequently asked questions: No, the nurse wasn't "impressed." I'm a female. Also, I think me lying on the floor immobile kind of killed the mood.

raraisbang tells us more.

raraisbang 12

Actually, I'm op and I'm a cosmetologist. I do hair. To clear that up :P

megasniper240 tells us more.

OP here, to clear it up I was on my futon in my living room and they happened to catch a glimpse through the window. Also, it was an old lady with her husband.

ExplosiveDildo tells us more.

Holy shit. I didn't think this would actually get posted! Well, I'm happy after all of the FML's I've posted over the years, this one got chosen

Uncomfy tells us more.

OP here. Here are a couple details that may help one's understanding of this: 1. I didn't pack a change of clothes, since I was expecting to change when I got to my hotel. So I had to spend the second half of the flight as well as the taxi ride to my hotel EXTREMELY uncomfortable. 2. People have asked what I was dreaming about. What you have to understand about me is that I get wet dreams from the most mundane things possible. I can get one from dreaming about typing in a **** site's URL. So honestly, I don't quite remember. 3. Yes, there was someone sitting next to me. No, she didn't notice. No, I was not able to talk to her the entire flight for fear that she would. Hope that cleared things up for you! OP out.