By metalwolf - 20/04/2012 08:56 - United States
hassi158
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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Hassi158's favorite FMLs
metalwolf tells us more.
By Capteen - 22/04/2012 12:17 - Australia - Brisbane
Capteen_fml tells us more.
OP here! I definitely have a new mattress, and the frames been well cleaned as it was in storage for a while. To the people saying get over it - I'm not upset or creeped out too much, I just thought it was FML worthy. And no, I have no intention of 'repeating the cycle' to my children as such - I need to finish my studies before even considering children!
By GogoTheGreat - 24/04/2012 02:12 - United States - Mission
GogoTheGreat tells us more.
By MissMae93 - 26/04/2012 01:27 - United States
MissMae93 tells us more.
To everyone saying I should have called in: unfortunately my work only provides about 3 sick days, which I used when I had my wisdom teeth removed. As for management, usually only one or two people are required to run the entire store (and of course, it was just me). They require much more notice and there was no one else available for the shift. Thank you to everyone with kind words and trust me, if I could have called in, I would have.
By anonymous4991 - 04/05/2012 00:39 - United States - Denver
anonymous4991 tells us more.
From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.
By CharlieOrion - 04/05/2012 12:25 - United Kingdom - Northampton
CharlieOrion tells us more.
Hey, I'm OP- and I'm really not that fat! I've just gained weight quickly, cause I'm stressed about exams... This didn't really help much!
Don't call me Shirley
By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 13:09 - Sweden - Solna
By runner2731 - 08/06/2012 08:09 - United States - Newark
runner2731 tells us more.
I am gonna watch the avergers soon and I'm gonna watch the incredible hulk, both iron man movies, and captain America.
This is fine
By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London
By Anonymous - 16/06/2012 19:03 - Canada - Edmonton
By JPTK - 17/06/2012 16:08 - United Kingdom - Newark
JPTK tells us more.
OP CLARIFICATION TIME!!!!! A *month* ago, me and my ex broke up as I was moving away, 3 days later she got drunk and had rebound sex with some guy. Talking to my best mate, he said we should go on a lads holiday around Europe to get over our exs etc. (He broke up with his around the same time). Y'know - meet some girls, work on our tan, drinks on the beach, you know the drill! Yesterday, when we were supposed to book, he told me he had to pull out as he'd gotten back with his ex and wanted to go on holiday with her. That is why FML.
By nerdsgetmehot - 18/06/2012 16:05 - United States - Oregon City
nerdsgetmehot tells us more.
So...A little back story. I went to the doctor to get tests because I often feel faint and dizzy in the mornings and it's quite an inconvenience. Just last week, when I took my cat to the vet, I ended up starting to black out randomly. Pretty embarrassing and obviously super inconvenient, as I had to drive home afterwards and was doubtful about whether or not I was okay enough to drive home. I get to the verge of fainting often enough to concern me. I've gotten a few tests over the years, but my doctor remains largely unconcerned about it. She thinks it's just my very low blood pressure, but I do everything I can to help that. I drink lots of water, eat salty snacks, and never get up too quickly-- but it doesn't help. So, ironically, I ended up fainting at a doctors' appointment to look into why I keep almost fainting. To answer some frequently asked questions: No, the nurse wasn't "impressed." I'm a female. Also, I think me lying on the floor immobile kind of killed the mood.
By raraisbang - 19/06/2012 01:07 - United States - Doyline
raraisbang tells us more.
By megasniper240 - 19/06/2012 15:35 - United States - Ronkonkoma
megasniper240 tells us more.
OP here, to clear it up I was on my futon in my living room and they happened to catch a glimpse through the window. Also, it was an old lady with her husband.
By hc11bmd - 19/06/2012 17:20 - United States - Bethel
By daddy'sgirl - 21/06/2012 04:11 - United States - Memphis
By ExplosiveDildo - 22/06/2012 13:08 - Afghanistan
ExplosiveDildo tells us more.
Holy shit. I didn't think this would actually get posted! Well, I'm happy after all of the FML's I've posted over the years, this one got chosen
By Uncomfy - 22/06/2012 23:01 - United States - Durango
Uncomfy tells us more.
OP here. Here are a couple details that may help one's understanding of this: 1. I didn't pack a change of clothes, since I was expecting to change when I got to my hotel. So I had to spend the second half of the flight as well as the taxi ride to my hotel EXTREMELY uncomfortable. 2. People have asked what I was dreaming about. What you have to understand about me is that I get wet dreams from the most mundane things possible. I can get one from dreaming about typing in a **** site's URL. So honestly, I don't quite remember. 3. Yes, there was someone sitting next to me. No, she didn't notice. No, I was not able to talk to her the entire flight for fear that she would. Hope that cleared things up for you! OP out.
Mindblowing
By apparantlyStupid - 27/06/2012 23:28 - Canada - Okotoks
Defeated
By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08
The problem isn't really organizing my time. Ideally I would like to get to sleep right when I get home and wake up in the early afternoon, but usually I fall asleep in the afternoon and wake up just a bit before I need to go to work again. Speaking of, I should be asleep right now.