bluepancakes

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Bluepancakes's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Bluepancakes's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 541

You deserved it 4 485

By Raprotcommander - 07/02/2011 15:47 - United States

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 305

You deserved it 54 331

By chelsea - 07/03/2011 22:23

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 579

You deserved it 13 928

Needy baby

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 438

You deserved it 6 400

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 654

You deserved it 31 070

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 011

You deserved it 5 359

By Trainspotting - 03/04/2011 13:32 - United Kingdom

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 810

You deserved it 3 739

By woahitbechels - 25/04/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 12 600

No more treats

By Fatty1970 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 282

You deserved it 20 074

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 84 282

This is awkward, guys

By Username - 19/06/2011 18:08 - United States

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 355

You deserved it 7 471

By Yoda - 08/07/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 991

You deserved it 4 900

Family Matters

By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 232

You deserved it 8 686

By TuteSweet - 12/08/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 577

You deserved it 4 814

Life's a beach

By squishylog - 12/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 953

You deserved it 7 111

By Trimacle - 24/08/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 598

You deserved it 15 834

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 512

By D - 09/09/2011 09:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street when a police officer started walking behind me with his dog. I sped up and tried to cross the road. He took this as suspicious and got the dog to take me to the floor. I've been afraid of dogs since I was 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 302

You deserved it 4 854

Value

By Randy - 13/09/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 418

You deserved it 5 283

By unicorn - 13/09/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 763

You deserved it 12 916