_kats_

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32 years-old
Sunday 20 March 1994
Single

About _kats_

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_kats_ - Followers

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_kats_'s FML badges

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality comments

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The rules are the rules

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Work is a 4-letter word

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100 kick-ass comments

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One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

_kats_'s favorite FMLs

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 063

You deserved it 27 197

By Noname - 13/03/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 920

You deserved it 30 119

By SwedishBozo - 15/03/2009 01:30 - United States

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 904

You deserved it 326 770

By Syferix - 18/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 696

You deserved it 27 083

About to Popov

By badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 374

You deserved it 17 991

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 667

You deserved it 10 248

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 57

By bdutton - 24/04/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 378

You deserved it 23 242

bdutton tells us more.

bdutton 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 6:21

as the OP, I would like to say that it was to the original mix of Benny Benassi's Satisfaction

Straight to jail

By breathalizard - 02/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 393

You deserved it 300 462

Thanks mom

By mistake - 11/05/2009 09:09 - United States

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 431

You deserved it 5 756

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 13:12 - United States

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 53

Maturity

By merkris - 29/06/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 327

You deserved it 12 756

By Rory - 23/07/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 522

You deserved it 4 838

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 02:32 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 109

You deserved it 20 133

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 19:10 - Ireland

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 954

You deserved it 5 622

Bad influence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 440

You deserved it 12 019

By bribreeeeeezyfreshhh - 06/12/2010 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 951

You deserved it 27 216

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 461

You deserved it 4 484

By anonymous - 17/04/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 958

You deserved it 7 494

By Anonymous - 18/04/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Eynsham

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 9 919