secretlynormal

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About Secretlynormal

I don't know what to put here. I guess there isn't much more to say about me. FML.

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

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It's in the can!

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

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One more and it's business time

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100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

My diary is a collector's item

There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.

Tell us what happened next

You've commented on an FML that you sent in

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

The rules are the rules

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50 quality comments

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Tweet, tweet

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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Secretlynormal's favorite FMLs

jgtrflynn tells us more.

My Aunt has ALWAYS done something nice for us after a deployment, she is our only family nearby and frequents our home during his absence to make sure I'm still alive when I disappear for days, she used to freak out but now knows she will always find me passed out next to his motorcycle:p(she knows where my spare key is and uses it so much it might as well be hers.) Normally she is waiting outside for us after corresponding with me, but this time she decided to be secretive to try and scare the pants off us (beat her to it) by hiding in the coat closet directly behind the front door and jumping out right as we came in. We did so loudly, crashing into both doors. Said closet has a push button lock on the outer knob, in perfect position.....then of course we got loud and into ourselves, not noticing her calls or knocks. She knows of course how we are after he returns, but her plan just backfired a bit:)

thanksdoc tells us more.

thanksdoc 3

Yes, my psychiatrist is a boss. She did the impression spot on without looking up from her notes, which was hilarious. Woopwoopwoopwooooop

VictoriaLeavitt tells us more.

VictoriaLeavitt 4

OP here. I made an account so I could follow up. For those of you doubting my parenting: in my household, no banshee-like deed goes unpunished. Yes, this was a school suspension, for those unsure, and it was three weeks, which is pretty reasonable. Sadly, this is a continuation jr. high school for kids who've been permanently expelled (I'm surprised no one asked why she's still in school during the summer), where banshee-like behaviors such as this are not rare.

bloodprincess tells us more.

bloodprincess 11

I'm really quiet and well my family chooses to ignore me unless it is time for house work.

LyraAlluse tells us more.

Hello everyone, OP here. I have enjoyed reading the comments, they are all very amusing and gave me a good laugh. In response to the Karate Kid comment, I actually practice Tai Chi, Qigong, Sword Fighting, and other martial arts/ weapon combat styles. Sometimes I do feel like the Karate Kid, especially with this latest development in my life. Because of my martial arts training I believe in self-defense and since all the kid hurled at me were threats, I am not too concerned. I don't think he believed I was above the age of thirteen until I drove in my car today and then you should have seen his expression. It was very amusing. I tend to look very young for my age (hey I'm not complaining) so people tend to think I am in my very early teens all of the time. I was even denied access to a lot of the casinos at Cliff Castle not too long ago because I looked too young to be on the casino floors. At the end of the day I had to wear a stamp that confirmed my age to even be allowed on the casino floors so in some sense I can understand why people mistake me for being so young. In response to the question about living at home, I happen to be a working professional, those years are behind me now. But there are definitely days when I wish that I was still as young as people like to think I am. If I happen to see the kid's parents I'll let them know about his behavior so he doesn't treat the other neighborhood kids the same way. Thank you for the support in all of this. No one should be bullied no matter what age they happen to be. I hope this will inspire other people to stop bullying in their schools and neighborhoods too.