Vancouver , Canada In a relationship
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, I went to a party. I tried dancing in public for the first time ever. Judging by the whispers, stares, and giggles, I'm never doing it again. FML
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML
Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML
Today, I dropped my Blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML
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