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OP here. First off, I would like to thank you all for not only putting my FML on here, but also giving me all this feedback! I felt like I would answer some questions. 2 - Note to self: Will try. 8, and several others - I actually do have some French Canadian heritage, but I was born and raised here in the North Shore of Massachusetts. 36 - It's real maple. Thanks for the feedback, everyone! If you're wondering, it tasted like maple syrup.

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 245

You deserved it 3 880

Raincheck

By noo - 07/06/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my bookbag, which I had placed underneath the truck to keep it out of the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 458

You deserved it 14 708

Grow up!

By UpTheDuff - 20/04/2023 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, after a necessary medical procedure that rendered my birth control ineffective, I found out I’m pregnant. I was already planning to break up with my manchild boyfriend, and when I told him this, his first response was, “What will my parents think?” Parents with whom he still lives at age 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 822

By mr_flarpin - 22/08/2012 00:37 - United States - Stoneham

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 280

You deserved it 7 559

Never enough

By Discostu80 - 06/06/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 874

You deserved it 6 950

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 457

You deserved it 11 376

Who's the asshat in this scenario?

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I will never see my siblings again because I refused to attend her wedding to another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 884

By TukTuk - 27/10/2014 21:18 - Germany - Weinböhla

Today, I spent an hour painstakingly disassembling my antique mirror after discovering a stack of papers behind the back board. I finally got hold of one corner, and pulled out - a newspaper from 2007 and instructions for an IKEA bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 232

You deserved it 5 074

By Cashier - 24/09/2011 06:21 - United States

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 232

You deserved it 3 781

By Surfinbird09 - 20/12/2009 12:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 4 093

By mdp624 - 16/08/2012 12:10 - United States - Brookhaven

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 762

You deserved it 1 573

By disappointed - 23/09/2011 03:08 - United States

Today, after having saved up my money for months to buy my college-bound son the car of his dreams, I got a phone call telling me it had been totalled during a drag-race. I only gave him the keys two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 285

You deserved it 14 143

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 840

You deserved it 7 019

By agent_awesome - 21/09/2011 15:25 - United Kingdom

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 668

You deserved it 2 627

agent_awesome tells us more.

agent_awesome 10

Wednesday 21 September 2011 23:36

i popped it out by holding down the other nostril and blowing.it was awkward. but atleast i gave the people a story to tell. one day when its not so fresh i will look back and laugh...i hope