Today, I walked past a group of men on my way to work. Instead of catcalling me, they made pig and whale noises at me, and yelled fat shaming comments. By the time I'd reached my building, I had been reduced to tears. FML
Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML
Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML
AFunnyUsername tells us more.
Hey everyone, this is the person who posted this. No I'm not a creepy stalker, I'm a normal person. Today, the girl who did this asked my best friend on a date. My best friend is pretty popular, so a lot of people manage to follow what he does. After she asked, he only pointed and laughed at her, at which the point where everyone proceeded to turn around and laugh at her as well. I feel better now.
Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML
Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, my boyfriend and I shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walked by and told us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looked at my boyfriend and told him he could do so much better. FML
Today, I realized what an immature child my mother is, and has always been. Even though she’s past middle aged, she still screenshots social media posts to laugh and make fun of people she went to high school with. FML
Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML
Today, I meant to prank my boyfriend with a fake pregnancy, but when he walked in, he had his elderly mom with him. She saw all the pregnancy stuff I’d set up for the prank and got so excited that she had a stroke, and is now in a vegetative state and might not wake up. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, and for the past two months, I've been raising a baby goat, whose mother rejected her. I went to visit my mom, and brought my goat with me, as my mom lives on 14 acres of farmland. I went to make her bottle for dinner, and when I came back outside, my mom's truck and my goat were gone. She won't say who she gave her away to. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
Today, I realized the cute guy in my Spanish class only talks to me so he can steal my answers. He asked if I'd give him the answers for the final as well. FML
Today, and every day, I miss my best friend. We haven’t talked in 6 months and probably never will again, and I don’t know how to face down the rest of my life knowing the one person I’m most excited to share it with doesn’t want to be involved. Life goes on, but it no longer sparkles. FML
Today, it's only been a week since I've been in my new apartment with my boyfriend, and I already caught him cheating. FML
Today, I fell asleep while watching Rocky and Bullwinkle. I then had an extremely vivid dream that I was going after Russian spies. FML
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'd be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML
Today, my husband has a chronic illness and can't work. We have 2 special needs kids who need a lot of assistance. Rent continues to go up and went up this year $570 for a total of $1800. I've taken up a second job to make ends meet, but it's increasing my depression. FML
Today, I went to my uncle’s funeral. Later, I found out that his irresponsible idiot of a daughter had COVID, knew she had COVID, and not only showed up anyway, but didn’t bother to wear a mask, and went out of her way to go around hugging people. FML
Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML
Today, it's the third day that I've been ghosted by a Christian boy who's still a virgin. Don’t get me wrong, I think that’s cute, and I liked him a lot. I’m just confused because he asked me out to church last week. He’s really sweet, but maybe he was just trying to convert me? FML
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband raised the bar. He sold our former marital home and put the money into a college fund for MY nieces. Now he looks great to my family, he already has a new place to live (thanks to his rich parents), and I’m stuck living with a college friend. FML
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