Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
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Top comments
summerguy97 16
Should that count as a date?
shibeep 12
Stage 5 clinger
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Comments (60)
summerguy97 16
Should that count as a date?
tanekdrachonae 19
Apparently, where he comes from handshakes are binding relationship contracts.
Jake_Hale 7
This is actually a better love story than twilight.
TheCanucklehead 22
How original 29
ohgeejosee 19
At least he's protective... I mean you shook his hand.. That's pretty serious and you probably shouldn't have greeted your boyfriend in front of him after that..
shibeep 12
Stage 5 clinger
shitsville 13
That seems like a bit of a bummer! (pun intended)
cutycat136 28
One thing to remember, never make any contact with anyone while on public transportation!!!!!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
This really can't be stressed enough. A simple "hello" will land you knee deep in a story you really don't want to hear. Unless its a cute girl, then you're almost obliged to come off as creepy with all the winks and tongue flicks you can do. Ahh, good times.
Damian95 16
The homeless usually have the best(and most creepy) stories.
lengi123 18
those stories are probably why they're homeless
skate_all_dayy 5
If I murdered someone i wouldn't go around telling people that.
Pwn17 25
I have a feeling that he's too psycho to care.
chabelo 10
yeah a psycho type Michael Myers
lwonderful 11
And I have a feeling that just maybe he's mentally disabled
esines 9
I doubt he really killed anybody.. Im betting he's just mentally sick like the guy above me said
AboveAll04 14
^ too funny lol
AppleJuiceBox 10
And that's the story of why he's homeless.
Jac_d_ipper 10
Have to admire his ingenuity!
AtomicDiamond87 15
Well he's dedicated
RonnieG 10
if you're crazy and you know it, shake your meds!!
MidnaLink 35
If you're crazy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're crazy and you know it shake your meds. (Shake Shake)