Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML
Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML
Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML
Today, I went to the gym that I just became a member of, making an extra effort to look good because I've heard there are hot guys there. The lady at the front desk said they need to take my picture, then took a second look and said, "Don't worry hun, we'll take it when you're more prepared." FML
Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML
Pimp53X tells us more.
Pimp53X 4
haha, well i was annoyed at first, but he is one of my best mates. And i couldn't say that i had never done something really stupid why'll drunk....not as bad as what he did but still bad =P. We talked about it the next day and at the time he thought it was a good idea to turn of the fridge, but once sober he relised like poster #10 did, that frozen puke would have been easier to clean =P. I'm currently eating most of my meals at his place until he can A) get rid of the smell and disinfect the whole thing. Or B) buy me a new fridge. How would you guys have gone about it?
Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML
Today, a customer bitched me out, saying he wouldn't eat his vegetarian dish because it didn't "look vegetarian enough." He then demanded a refund and a plate of the same vegetarian dish. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him, so he cheated on me. FML
Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML
Today, the owner of the restaurant I work at texted me to let me know the manager does not want me to come in anymore. Why? I'm the most praised of the staff by the customers and they love me, which makes the manager look bad. The owner hired me solely for customer service in the first place. FML
browneyedgirlx3 tells us more.
Hi guys, OP here. Just going to give a bit more detail: the restaurant is Chinese, owned and employed by 99% Chinese. Their culture is entirely foreign to me, and while I did my best to understand it, I've come away from this with the thought process that they are just extremely condescending to anyone who is not Chinese/Asian. The owner hired me specifically to be able to communicate with "Western" customers, as while the staff could speak English, it is not the native language of any of them, and they could not joke and chat with customers the way I could; they were looking specifically for someone of "Western" culture (their words). There were multiple customers who: A) quickly became regulars, despite the restaurant having only just opened, and; B) praised me to many members of the staff, including the manager. The first time I heard a customer tell the manager how good my service was, his response was literally an emotionless: "All staff is good." There were many customers who were disgusted with his treatment of them, and while I tried to defend his actions (and I saved the restaurant losing least one customer [who ended up having a nearly $400 bill] by doing this) by explaining his English was so poor that he did not like to keep conversation going too long, I now think he really is just a grumpy old Chinese man. Now, someone hit the nail on the head by suggesting the owner is inexperienced: this is his first restaurant. The manager has 40 years of restaurant knowledge. I have 6, and so while I understand I may be a bit behind in experience, it doesn't take a brainiac to know how to treat people with common curtesy and respect. This manager is extremely short with customers, barely looks them in the eye, and makes them feel very rushed in everything from ordering to being seated to leaving. He also left me stranded at the restaurant late at night when the busses had stopped running, and if it weren't for the kindness of one of the older waitresses, I honestly don't know how I would have gotten home. I had been thinking of leaving for a new job after that was done anyway, because I could not work with people who are so disrespectful and disregarding of others like that. That was the night I got the text message (last night), so obviously the decision was made for me, but I still think it's so shit how everything turned out. In terms of my job description, I did absolutely everything right (and did everything to alleviate the workload of others). It's just that no matter how much I tried, I just could not connect with any of the Chinese staff, and I think that's what inevitably led to my dismissal. Which, again, I think is shit, because the owner was specifically looking for a "Western" assistant manager (which they didn't give me; they advertised and I accepted the role of assistant manager, but I actually ended up being no more than a waitress/hostess, with the added responsibility of opening in the morning). If it was going to be such an issue with the Chinese staff, they should have never brought a "Western" in in the first place.
Today, I spent more time driving to my vacation spot than actually vacationing. FML
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML
Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
Today, my girlfriend jumped into my arms for a kiss. She's done it before, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I fell backwards, straight through my glass coffee table. FML
Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML
Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML
Today, I found a diaper in the parking lot. It's been raining all morning. This was the wrong day to wear flip-flops. FML
Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML
Today, my parents are forcing me to go to an insanely conservative, Christian private school. I'm gay. This is going to be a long year. FML
daidax_238 tells us more.
daidax_238 26
Hey guys! It's OP here. I'm just here to clear up a few things. First of all, my parents know I'm gay and they don't like that at all. And for the few of you guys saying "there's still gonna be gay kids there, blah blah blah" you're wrong. It's a very small school within the area and only about 250 kids go there. So far, I haven't heard anything about a single gay kid in the entire school. To be honest with you it's just a shitty situation that I can't do much about. But thanks to everybody for the support!
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