The Top

After being hit, he said, "oh, oops, do you need to get out?" I was let out, and after waiting in a line of about 6 people, I made it to the restroom.

Cops can't catch criminals

By frustrated - 17/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 396

You deserved it 4 809

By Anonymous - 16/06/2010 23:16 - United States

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 965

You deserved it 2 754

By ieatoreos - 11/03/2011 11:28

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 284

You deserved it 2 992

By Hth - 15/01/2009 11:14 - United States

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 024

You deserved it 29 944

By Anonymous - 24/10/2013 19:16 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 048

You deserved it 9 481

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 944

You deserved it 31 061

By sysadmin:~# rm -rf / - 12/09/2013 19:40 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 722

You deserved it 7 458

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 03:18 - United States - Woburn

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 404

You deserved it 15 733

By Queensland - 18/10/2014 07:20 - Australia

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 136

You deserved it 2 583

By MeaganElizabethM - 11/10/2015 12:31 - United States - Steubenville

Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 710

You deserved it 4 610

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 11:12 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 457

You deserved it 48 425

By grossed out - 05/05/2013 23:10 - United States - Mount Prospect

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 274

You deserved it 8 269

Ouch

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Union City

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 926

You deserved it 2 546

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 132

You deserved it 3 615

By Animal_aide - 07/01/2010 18:42 - Canada

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 072

You deserved it 2 965

By VictimofLaw - 07/01/2010 01:57 - United Kingdom

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 2 305

VictimofLaw tells us more.

VictimofLaw 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 12:50

Usually they do use Astras, or they also have some police 4 x 4 they use for the stroud valley area in which I live, also they have a newer batch of focus estates. I was very near my own home, I was not "driving irresponsibly" at all. I was in second gear doing 10 mph down my street which -granted- is a slope and is bendy, but I know the road, i've driven in snow here before. Ive got a mk6 golf which has a clearly visible crack in the lower grate and also paintwork damage on the front of the bonnet and bumper. I did take the time to lecture them on road-condition awareness and also have got details so their insurance will be repairing my car. It's the general inconvenience tbh which pisses me off and the hypocrisy.

By Kan23 - 26/01/2016 03:37 - United States - Altus

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 086

You deserved it 1 474