Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Amkii 0
WHAT. That is terrible!!!! D: What if you're not ready for kids?! Jeez... she is crazy. Sorry about your pregnancy. Unless, that is, you're ready for kids now and wanted one.
Emma89_ 0
sorry, but your Mothers a nut job o.O
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
Amkii 0
WHAT. That is terrible!!!! D: What if you're not ready for kids?! Jeez... she is crazy. Sorry about your pregnancy. Unless, that is, you're ready for kids now and wanted one.
No_Heart 0
She should get an abortion, that would show her mum up so much.
Amkii 0
Ha.... yeah.
neonokku 0
I was gonna say that 59! Abortion will show her!
premiermois 5
Of course that's an intelligent solution, 70. Kill the child to get back at the mother. What kind of sick **** are you? My question for OP is why are you still living with your mother? If she's that nutty to do something like that I'm sure this wasn't the first act of insanity. So... why?
ABBenzin 0
Better yet, abort it and send "grandma" the bill.
123man 11
Better yet, abort it and said "grandma" the aborted fetus.
st0815 9
It's a foetus, not a child.
Atamix 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
not once did she say she lived with her mother. and she wouldnt be killing the "child" seeing as how it isnt even alive yet.
mcloonybin 15
Yeah, that's right #80, point the finger at the OP for still living with her mother (not that we even have proof of that) when the mother is the one at fault for being freaking crazy.
Emma89_ 0
sorry, but your Mothers a nut job o.O
xavel_fml 0
This does not sound believeable
turdburgers 0
Birth control pills come in a daily dispenser in the first place.
just_me_tmp 0
#20, Birth control pills already come in blister packs with weekdays labeled on them. I don't know if you put your BC in a seven day pill dispenser- but normal people don't. OP- I could believe the part about the poking holes in condoms, but you are not fooling anyone. There is no way your pills could have been tampered with without your knowning. Besides, on the off chance your pills actually were replaced because you're retarded enough to put them in a seven day dispenser, I doubt your mother could find actual pills the same shape, size and color to replace them.
just_me_tmp 0
Because they are already marked on the blister pack. And last time I checked- old people don't take birth control pills and old people probably make up about 98% of the population actually using those 7-day counters. I seriously doubt the OP used a counter unless she's for some reason been struck with all these reasons to take several medications every day.
lefteye770 0
YDI for taking your BC pills out of the blister pack.
hornetchik 0
How does she manage to poke a hole in the condom and then seal it back up again? And where does she get pills that do nothing but look the same as your contraceptive pills, so you don't notice???
foolishworkerbee 0
you don't need to remove a condom from its wrapper to poke holes in it - just take a straight pin, thumbtack, or something and poke one straight through the packaging. @op: i don't get, however, how your mother could manage to swap out your contraceptive pills. it's not like they come in a refillable vial, where they're loose and floating around.
hornetchik 0
dougelo7 I wasn't doubting the OP, I was actually genuinely wondering how she did it. I never thought of sticking a needle through the whole package of the condom, and I also just assumed that like most people, her contraceptive pills were in monthly packets which are sealed, and I know for a fact that if my pills were changed some how, I WOULD notice. They would have to be almost identical for me not to.
mrdblq 6
apparently you can get them in the same bottles that you can get other perscriptions in. Most people just don't for obvious reasons
scizzerin 0
damn, not just "old people" use them! I have to take a crap load of meds (yea kidney transplant!!). I'm 31...
WonderBlunder 0
The "hole" will be huge as potholes when stretched..
just_me_tmp 0
Yeah you're right. It wouldn't be noticeable in the dark. That is.... until the pothole turned into a breakage... Idiot.
AndelleRae 9
Not really, no. There are tons of cases where a woman ended up pregnant because someone poked a hole through a condom using a pin. It's enough to cause a woman to become pregnant, but not enough to cause any noticeable damage to the condom.
onehotdemon 0
I would ******* deck her.
ZeGuitarist 7
I doubt that this is real. If it is, though... That's ******* sick.
kitkatkelly 0
How is it possible to "swap" birth control pills? They come in 21- or 28-day blister packs.
ohnomama 0
Not all of them.
just_me_tmp 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yes- They pretty much do. Please give me an example of a birth control pill that does not come in a blister pack and I will shut up and believe you.
Luckster 0
My jaw instantly dropped when I read this. I can't believe there are Moms out there that flipping psycho!
hypnotiz3 0
wtf! i would kill my mother!!