Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Effed around, found out
Today, the woman I left my wife for says she doesn’t wanna date me because she "sees me as a best friend” and “You just got divorced, it’s kinda awkward.” I caught feelings for this woman, tried to fight it for months and finally caved in, only to be told she sees me as a platonic friend. My wife won’t take me back. FML
Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML
Get over it
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
Boring FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
Relationships sink
Today, my wife told me that she isn't in a place where she can have a physical relationship, that if I want us to have a physical relationship then we need to start from the bottom up, and work on building a friendship. I'm like, we've been married 15 years, and we're not even friends? FML
Commitment
Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML
Cunning stunt
Today, I asked my wife for a divorce, after I tried everything to save our marriage, and it was a gut-wrenching decision. I tried easing her into it, but she instantly agreed. She had packing boxed ready to move out. Now I suspect she was sabotaging our marriage for months so I'd call it quits. FML
Love and marriage
Today, I woke up realizing my wife of less than a year of marriage wants a divorce. We have known each other for 15 years. FML
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Top comments
whatadaydanny 12
Invite your new girlfriend over. $10.00 says she shows some interest again.
JaneDoexD 8
Bummer. Divorce her?
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Comments (73)
JaneDoexD 8
Bummer. Divorce her?
GypsyRover 0
Stage left!!!
Daederoth 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No. It is because you say things like 'friend zone'.
ICastillo 25
You have to put some romance in your relationship Op. You have to do the naked astronaut bit.
RadikulRam 16
#1 if he didn't sign a prenub, and I think his wife would have to sign one too, or the equivalent then he's gonna have to pass on a considerable amount of their wealth to her. You'll generate a lot in 10years. And if they have signed one, a divorce with one side disagreeing still takes months (some accounts stating 1-4years!). I think OPs wife is going to bring another man into her life and wait until OP divorces her, but I'm not sure on alimony procedures for cheating spouses in Australia.
X_Codes 11
@27 - Dude, they're married. I think he's got a right to complain.
Futacy 30
Looks like there's gonna be no more sex hair for you, OP.
JaneDoexD 8
Well it's either give up half of your shit or live unhappily with your spouse I'd rather give up half my shit so I can find someone who I'll truly be happy with
walmartpaysme 15
Am I the only one who saw the fact that OP's wife is refusing a divorce? She might just be trying to get your attention OP. maybe she just wants to see if you even care.
nashspring 1
Sounds like it's time to start sleeping around.
Osito2011 9
84 only one spouse needs a prenup to sign...if op wife doesn't have one, then all well, half her shit is op stuff now...and vise versa.
Dcm210 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's why I don't wanna get married. If it doesn't work out, you could just go your separate ways.
gracehi 33
Yes, but then you're lover could pack EVERYTHING up while you're out of the house and leave you with nothing without a word, and you'd have absolutely no legal rights. I've seen it happen.
kiwienne 21
#30 - Wouldn't that be stealing?
Awahso 25
Actually, you do have some protection in that case. It varies by jurisdiction, but many places use common law in regards to long term commitment. If two people are together long enough, under common law it is "like you are married". I have seen that apply many times, especially in cases involving children or domestic fights.
evilplatypus 39
33 - Common law marriage is disappearing quickly in a lot if areas. I know in the US only ten states have it. Personally, I think marriage offers a lot more protection as far as assets go as opposed to simply living together. Not to mention the legal benefits (taxes, inheritance, life insurance, medical insurance. Marriage even improves credit card and insurance rates!).
gracehi 33
#33, I think you are referring to a "common law marriage," but I think you have to be living together for a very long time, like ten years or something. In that case, yes, I believe the law applies to you the same as if you were married. So in a way you have no choice but to get married if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. But I was referring to a situation in which common law marriage wouldn't apply. #32, Yes that would be stealing, but then the burden of proof would be with the prosecution. They'd have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that #1) Your belongings were actually stolen rather than simply moved. With no forced entry, that's very hard to prove. They'd also have to prove.#2) Your ex girl/ boyfriend had no right to take items from his/her own home. That was just one example. Another example would be if you live in their home and your name isn't on the lease or mortgage, they can simply put your stuff outside and change the locks while you're gone. These are just some examples. My basic point is that marriage gives you certain rights and security that simply living with someone can't.
doctorhook86 25
42: Where I live, you only have to cohabitate for like 1.5 years to apply for common law status.
gracehi 33
44, I thought it was usually much longer than that. According to 38, though, only ten states have common law marriage at all. In any case, it's important to know your rights and state laws, and there are definitely legal and personal security benefits to getting married. Sure, if you don't get married, you can walk out on your partner at any time with little to no hassle, but then again your partner can also do the exact same thing to you.
DjeePee 25
Don't Americans have some sort of 'living together' contract? Belgians have. I'm not sure which one has the best financial benefits, that or a marriage contract, but I'm pretty sure both of them makes it illegal to steal your partner's goods.
gracehi 33
I've never heard of a "living together contract." We do have common law marriages, in which a couple has been living together long enough to be considered legally married. Apparently, though, most states don't have common law marriage. Each state is almost like its own country and the laws can vary greatly. Anyway, I think people are getting too hung up on my "leaving and stealing your stuff" example. It happened to someone I know and that's why I immediately thought of that scenario. Obviously it would play out differently in certain jurisdictions or situations. Perhaps I should have been a little more explicit in the point I was making in my original reply, which was that if you're living with someone and you're not married, they can screw you over a lot more easily than if you were married.
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Looking at you, you won't be getting married anytime soon.... :)
outoftown 27
#57, Some US states have civil unions, and some are for both same-sex and opposite-sex couples. These cover many (but not all) of the areas covered by marriage, but may not be recognized by other states if the couple moves. Without civil union or common-law marriage, unmarried couples must make separate legal arrangements for everything from property to health care decisions to wills.
Trollgod 13
Haha i think your takin marriage for granted wanker
turkturkington 13
Yeah, those old divorces really do take up a lot of precious time... She sounds like a bit of a mental! Do a runner... Take the dog. That'll show her! :-p
MormonPornstar 7
Ughhh just stop.
TwiztedYuri 9
39 look up sarcasm in a dictionary then think on it.... then come back to fml. thank you for your time
MormonPornstar 7
I know what Sarcasm is bud. There's quite a big difference between Illiteracy and Sarcasm. Thanks for chiming in though
syki 22
She's perfectly literate - she's just not using the AmE I assume you're more accustomed to seeing, "bud."
doctorhook86 25
42: Downvoted for having a bad attitude, capitalizing improperly, failing to show a beautiful Irish girl the proper respect.
turkturkington 13
Sorry, just popped into real life for a second. YOU KNOW, WHERE I DON'T GET ABUSED FOR USING IMAGINARY BAD GRAMMAR. Thanks lads, ye's are sound backing me up! :)
whatadaydanny 12
Invite your new girlfriend over. $10.00 says she shows some interest again.
Fisheyedfool7 2
This guy is a smart man. Take his advice!
kamikrazy 6
Well played...
wlddog 14
Normally, i would say inviting other women into your life is a bad idea, but in this case this man may be onto something.
Inheritance 10
Or inform your 'wife' she's too 'time consuming'
sexynarwhal 6
good plan. do this.
tiger3110 6
Who's to say she's not with somebody else
TheNewGuy03 29
119 -- she probably is. Just a hunch. These types of things don't happen for no reason.
behady 4
Go bang some other chick in your guys bed see how she likes that
BellaBelle_fml 23
Because that's the ethical and mature way to handle this situation…
doctorhook86 25
6: It's funny how you managed to say almost the same thing as #5, but way more crassly.
tygerarmy 35
No, but clearly the husband wants sex. And if his wife has decided she won't have do it he can look elsewhere.
perdix 31
She's right. It's also expensive. There's a cheap effective solution out there, but if I propose it, the shrill, tight-ass, judgmental sheep will bury it immediately. It's certainly better than enriching parasitic divorce attorneys.
SammyS2012 21
Wait, what's this proposal? I wanna know! Say it plleaasseeee?
AFEmoWifey 0
Do tell! I wanna know in case of need. Please please please. I hate begging lol.
ManInTheMachine 20
I believe perdix was going to say, have an affair, or make it an open relationship. Or a threesome. Perdix's mind knows no bounds.
gracehi 33
I thought he was going to suggest killing his wife and making it look like a burglary. But maybe I've just been watching too much, "Scorned: Love Kills."
gc327072 31
Yea, I imagine he would've used the classic Perdix suggestion of "hey just go get a prostitute!" Reminds me of the Castrol commercial: "Think with your dipstick, jimmy!"
Tuffay 14
Kill me?
perdix 31
Y'know, I was going to come back and spill it, but the answers from The Swarm are much more interesting. I like this brainstorming!
YacL 15
"I don't want a divorce, so let's just pretend we're not married". I see you have a taste in mature women.
gracehi 33
There's a reason divorces are so expensive: they're worth it. Divorce her. Perhaps, if she remains as disengaged as she is, you can even stick her with the bill.
joethebiden 8
Grow a pair. You don't need her permission to divorce.
thewiseguy13 0
"be a man, dooo the right thing"
KiddNYC1O 22
Biden, I hope you're getting ready for tonight!
lolipop1234_fml 7
40- Op does need her to sign the divorce papers. Otherwise it would be a very expensive court case. Well atleast that's what it's like where I am from.
xInwex 12
Ah, woman logic.
unknown_user5566 27
What's with all the self-deprecating women lately? It's not "cool" to degrade your own sex.