Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, having been in a bit of a dry spell, my husband woke up feeling frisky. I was feeling it too, but I asked if he could get up and brush his teeth as I’d already brushed mine and wanted to have some fun. Instead, he stormed off, insisting I'd ruined the mood. Sorry but morning breath is gross. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend hasn’t asked for sex in a while, like months, and when I asked him about it he admitted that every day I shout at him, snap at him or act bitchy about anything not his fault, he has a wank and goes to sleep rather than bother asking me for sex. FML
Today, it's the 11th time in a row my wife has promised sex, then backed out. Some were good valid reasons I’ll admit, but this time we got as far as naked dry-humping when she suddenly decided she was too upset about our cat dying 8 years ago, so instead she played on her phone until she fell asleep. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, it’s officially been 37 days since my fiance has seen me naked and longer than that since he’s tried to give me an orgasm. I’ve lost track of how long it’s been. I don’t want to end up like the people on here talking about sexless marriages for years and decades before we’re even married. No offense. FML
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Top comments
dreams2383 20
why do you do that? it's your husband. why do women act like they don't like sex and it's a chore? I love sexy time with my husband. I will always get a big smile on my face if he asks if I want to do it.
poopface82 25
83 days is just shy of 12 weeks. If you pulled this 16 previous times in that span, including this time, that’s 1.4 times a week or once every five days or so. At this point, he’s conditioned to have you change your mind.
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Comments (5)
poopface82 25
83 days is just shy of 12 weeks. If you pulled this 16 previous times in that span, including this time, that’s 1.4 times a week or once every five days or so. At this point, he’s conditioned to have you change your mind.
dreams2383 20
why do you do that? it's your husband. why do women act like they don't like sex and it's a chore? I love sexy time with my husband. I will always get a big smile on my face if he asks if I want to do it.
galwen 17
If he is counting every time he misses out, he is being a dick. Just communicate your needs to each other. Playing stupid games ends up hurting both people
galwen 17
If he is counting every time he misses out, he is being a terrible husband. Just communicate your needs to each other. Playing stupid games ends up hurting both people
jtookie 1
need more context but just based on what you typed your an asshole