Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some Adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML
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Top comments
KiwiBlam 4
Calm down everyone, just coz she's slept with more than one guy doesn't mean she's a ****. Don't be jealous just coz she's getting more action than most of you
rache8bab 1
awesome
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Comments (218)
PsychoMerk 0
I'm guessing you're a Slore? ;)
bridgette5866 0
hahahahahaha, win.
scorpio82 0
YDI for not researching the drug. I take Ambien, and it's like memory loss in a pill. Never take it and then try to have a conversation... especially with a parent! FAIL!!!
Whiterabbitm1 0
you think that drug is bad try useing Seriqule that shit is no joke I know personally
daydreamstar 7
im curious, tell me more about ti? does it give u like really intense dreams, cause hallucinations. sorry but im just kinda bored ^^
Whiterabbitm1 0
it a sleep medication and is also used for panic attack due to it's 15 minute rapid release... some side effects are hunger even if you are full, black outs, if enough is taken you will hilusonate... but you must be warned is very expesive and VERY addictive. Talk to your dr first
unpossible 26
Seroquel is an atypical antipsychotic which is primarily prescribed to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. Its main side effect is sedation which is why it is often used off-label to treat anxiety and sleep problems. It has other possible side effects including paranoia, tachycardia, weight gain, upset stomach, dizziness, diabetes, liver problems, and a whole host of other f'ed up things. If your doctor doesn't prescribe it to you, don't seek it out. The risks are too many and too severe to take it recreationally.
Flour_fml 0
White rabbit is just a teensy bit off... Like the other reply says it's an Atypical Antipsychotic. It's not a sleep med. However, if you need an Antipsychotic in the first place and have trouble sleeping that's the most common choice. I took it and was fine. I didn't hallucinate, and Seroquel is not an addictive drug. And yes, I made my way up to higher doses. I'm sure it has the potential to be abused, but honestly, there are so many other more fun drugs out there, why waste your time on something so expensive and hard to get a hold of? The only reason I stopped taking it was because it does cause hunger even when full, and the weight gain can be ridiculous.
Sirin_fml 47
Snickerdoodles, I think you have some fans here.
daydreamstar 7
XD sorry to hear that but at least now your mom can write a good trashy romance novel. Ne?
jacollins22 0
Wow! Why is everyone being so judgemental??? First, do the research for you call someone a liar. Ambien is known for doing thiskind of stuff! Second, why would you automatically assume she's a ***** because she's had sex with more than one person?
AngryNinja 1
poor snickers always does.
KurouTenshi 0
How many of the people on your list were family members?
erizzz 0
sounds like my slutty exgirlfriend posted this
Vanni 0
http://www.fmylife.com/comments/rules Point number 3.