Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some Adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML
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Top comments
KiwiBlam 4
Calm down everyone, just coz she's slept with more than one guy doesn't mean she's a ****. Don't be jealous just coz she's getting more action than most of you
rache8bab 1
awesome
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Comments (218)
Kuroftw 0
Yeah, Ambien is ******* crazy. I always saw colors and went walking around aimlessly in a tank top and shorts in mid winter outside. One time after taking one and let it kick in a not-so-sober me took the rest of the bottle. I ended up falling into the tub or something. All I remember was my parents dragging me up and to the hospital, some stupid nurse stabbing my arm ten times trying to find my vein, and trying to text my boyfriend with my fingers fumbling all over the place. I wouldn't recommend taking it.
ozymandias_fml 0
*****.
TheJace 0
I took Ambien for a few months at school, I thought I owned a business and would sit on my friend's top bunk and yell at the 3 of them to work harder and increase production and stuff. I stopped for a bit after the semester was over but when I had trouble sleeping again I would use it once in awhile, I couldn't remember anything that happened and would throw up. One night I gave two of my boyfriends friends my number so we could all hang out. I didn't remember a thing the next morning. So I feel for ya OP. FYL
lilbz76 0
It's funny how some drugs affect people differently. I have a friend that is prescribed Seroquel and when she takes them she gets about 3 to 5 hours of sleep. I took one and slept for almost a full day, and felt like someone had hit me with a truck when i woke up. I've seen some of my friends on ambien have hallucinations, talking to things that aren't there, sleepwalking, and fall out of bed. I find from personal experience the best way to try any drug is to dose yourself, take a quarter of something instead of the whole thing. Your still taking a chance, just not as big. Then again you could kill yourself, you never know. People have died the first time they took tabs, but people have died form taking an aspirin. What im saying is anyone who says they know what they are doing when they take anything,really don't know shit.
bAdxxKiTTi 0
my mom was on ambien. she gained 20 lbs because she would get up in the middle of the night and eat cheese in her sleep.
cherry72 13
oh and another thing when I take ambien I make sure my computer and cell are turned off and put away... worse than drunk calls I've gotten very horny and very explicit w friends and strangers and don't remember a thing... just looked at sent messages and went omfg I said that... ambien is great if u don't wake up on it or try to stay up on it.
astriofou 0
sleepy ***** next.
EvilLilCupcake 10
I used to take that a couple years ago. I had sleeping problems caused by depression. one day I woke up covered in blood. apparently I had managed to slice my leg open and not notice because I was sleep walking... ambien is a vary dangerous pill so be careful!!
EvilLilCupcake 10
ambien is a proscribed sleeping pill dumbass -_-
nerdy96birdy 8
Random fact: Tiger Woods slept with more than 120 women.